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  Jun 2019 Ozzie
"i'm holding on
why is everything so heavy?"- Chester Bennington
Gone, but never forgotten. You are missed.
  Jun 2019 Ozzie
i wrote:

the day my best friend
killed herself
without telling me
  Jun 2019 Ozzie
Kera Daniels
One day
One day when I stand on the edge of a bridge
I don't think I'd care if I really trip.
I'd rather slip
then move on again,
cuz in my head I just want it to end.
All the painful nights,
again and again;
all the blood I lost,
because it won't end.
I wish it could stop
instead of keep going
it's like an endless river flowing.
If I cry out,
would you hear my shout?
or would you let me waste away?
Would you tell me i'm nothing?
or tell me i'll be okay?
you hurt me once
you hurt me twice
you even hurt me a thousand times.
Again and again
you don't want it to end.
you want me to hurt
like never before.
One day I'll say,
I can't do this again.
So, instead i'll hang
from my closet door.
  Jun 2019 Ozzie
I tried to **** myself once
With a bottle of pills
And a mind full of voices
Swallowing two dozen
Everything was blurry  
My vision was gone
But my mind was clear
I saw everything I loved
I saw everything I hated
I was face to face with every insecurity
And at the same time
Engulfed in self love
Life isn’t appreciated until it’s gone
  May 2019 Ozzie
Amanda Kay Burke
I am afraid I'll be sad forever
Nothing brings out a smile
When I am down I often forget
It is only for a while
I am scared I'll never be fixed
My broken heart will never mend
When it's aching it feels like
Pain might not ever come to an end
I fear my instability
Urges to make a deep incision
Temporary emotions pushing me
Towards a permanent decision
Never make permanent choices based on temporary feelings
Ozzie May 2019
“We don’t remember days, we remember moments.”

I remember four boys
willing to take in a lost kid.
I remember meeting him
in the middle of a winter night.
I remember meeting him
when we got lost among the rocks.
I remember meeting him
in an island bakery.
I remember meeting him
when I tripped into his life.

I remember that first gathering,
how awkward and nervous I was.
I remember not wanting to speak
for fear of ruining everything.
I remember mad libs in the dark,
how I never knew my turn.
I remember telling them my age,
for I am but a child in this world.
I remember talks under the stars,
how we were never tired yet.

I remember hearing his voice
and being surprised by him.
I remember adventures in the trees,
learning what it means to be mortal.
I remember learning his language
and completely butchering it.
I remember keeping him up,
how he claimed to never be tired.
I remember the sound of his voice
and the color of his eyes.

I remember his unique accent
and how mesmerized I was.
I remember the forbidden mine
that echoed with our laughter.
I remember the stories he told
and the memories he shared.
I remember hearing his dream,
how he wants to change the world.
I remember the way he spoke
and the hope he gave me.

I remember being nervous around him
and not wanting to mess up.
I remember when he called me friend,
how happy and proud I felt.
I remember his bad jokes
and the chaos he caused.
I remember his description of me,
how beautifully he thought of me.
I remember the strength in his words
and the safety I felt in them.

I remember how he stumbled
and how embarrassed he was.
I remember complimenting him,
how flushed his cheeks got.
I remember his infectious laugh
and the brilliant smile that joined it.
I remember how he treated everyone,
how he made all of them feel loved.
I remember seeing the universe in his eyes
and finally feeling free.

I remember hearing his voice
and how it shook with fear.
I remember his unique accent
and how choked up it was.
I remember him being nervous
and not wanting to slip up.
I remember how he stumbled
and how terrified he was.

I remember my skin
and all the blood it let.
I remember the pain,
how I went numb.
I remember the tears
and how they stung.
I remember my breaths
and my struggling lungs.
I remember it wasn’t enough,
that there had to be more.

I remembered my boys.

I remembered their fear filled eyes.
I remembered their tear-stained cheeks.
I remembered their hitching breaths.
I remembered their shaking voices.
I remembered their worrying hands.

I remembered.

I remembered
I needed them.

I remembered
They needed me.

I remembered my family.

I remembered
I couldn’t leave them.

I remembered to live.
For my sweet boys
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