Free as a bird, I let my mind fly.
These words are my wings, this paper, my sky
Chillin' in the living room, lo-fi playing in my ear.
Not a care in the world, I feel peace not fear.

This **** is hittin' and I'm just here sittin'
Thinking about life.
I'll drift away on a sea like I always do.
I don't know where I'm going yet.
I'm lost without a clue.
Don't find me.

Nothing is on my mind, yet my thoughts are racing quickly.
I feel fine, but somehow I am still sick.
I'm getting lost and I don't want to return,
I know there is a lesson here,
But It's one I have yet to learn.

Burn, like this green when I light it.
Burn, like my lungs when I hit it.

Yeah, chillin and vibing and drifting away.
Nothing on my mind.
I hope I see another day.

Free as a bird, I let my mind fly.
These words are my wings, this paper, my sky


By: Thomas James Tom.

11/10/2020

Beautiful sadness.
I hear the wind whirl and howl outside.
I hope it rains.
I see cats.
They are playing in the house.
The pitter-patter of their feet amuses me.
I'm sitting in the living room.
I feel an old friend approaching.
She visits often.
She is beautiful.
She cuts me.
She stalks me.
She is evil.
She is always lurking.
She drives me insane.
She leaves my soul hurting.
She is mean.
She is lean.
Her words are like rusty nails to my soul.
Her words are true.
In this madness and sadness, beauty emerges.
I hear soft music coming from my headphones.
It helps me.
It heals my wounds.
It eases my spirit.
The scares remain.
She leaves until the song ends.
Then she is back again.
My Beautiful Sadness.


6/9/2020

Thomas James Tom

1:19 am

It's one nineteen in the morning.
No light is on in the room.
It feels like night.
My mind is a nightmare.
It's flooded with thoughts of fear.
  
I'm filled with fright.
I'm the definition of alright.
Right?

I'm use to this darkness.
It's a place I've made mine.
It's a familiar place that I visit.
I go there all of the time.

I know all of my faces.
I know my fears.
It spawned from happiness.
Happiness I once held dear.

I'm filled with fright.
I'm the definition of alright.
Right?

I crafted this place with my own hands.
I made my own personal hell.

I'm shrieking and shaking.
I ***** and collapse.
I am not well.

I was in a recession.
I finally gave into this depression.

I'm filled with fright.
I'm the definition of alright.
Right?

I feel everything at once.
Suddenly,  I feel numb.
It's finally over.
It's finally done.

I'm alright.
Right?

4/13/2020
Thomas James Tom

Growing up.

Bittersweet as they are, memories flood; my emotions intertwine.
Suddenly fear, pain, joy, and pleasure combine

No more staying the night at my friend's house.
No more family dinners around the table.

I'm falling back, staring at the people on the other side of the door.
I'm getting older, I'm not a kid anymore.
I'm an adult, but I'm unable to cope.
My soul feels doused with sadness.

No more falling asleep while my nana holds me.
No more after school snacks,  while I watched my favorite show.
This is madness.


I'm almost twenty-seven now, I'm grown.
I have a wife, a job, and a life of my own.
I have gotten what I always wanted.
Still yet, I don't feel home.

I took those days for granted, I'm grown and I miss them.
The memories now are precious.
More so than any gems.

Bittersweet as they are, memories flood; my emotions intertwine.
Suddenly fear, pain, joy, and pleasure combine.


By: Thomas James Tom

4/9/2020
Edited 4/10/2020

Dear sky,  
Why are you crying?
Are you sad?
I am too.
Maybe we can cry together?
If you hold me and lend me your ear, I will give you my shoulder to cry on.

Sky?
Are you listening?
Sky?
Are you there? I need someone to listen.
Sky?
I need someone to care.
I need comfort.
I need love.
I step off of this bridge.
I fall straight down.
The water shocks me and I drown in the tears of my dearest
Sky.

4/4/2020
Thomas James Tom

Storm.

Lightning flashes in the sky.
It could brighten any night.

Then you hear the thunder.
And you may begin to wonder,

What is coming up ahead? just a simple shower?
Or a mighty storm with awesome power?

You hear the rain falling from the skies, then
You tightly close your eyes.

You just want it all to end oh but my
Friend the storm has only just begun.

Lightning flashes in the sky.
It could brighten any night.

By T.J. Tom

I'll say goodbye.

I have loved and lived, I have lived and sinned and my sins I pray god forgives. I try so hard to Stay away but you say no way and you pull me back in with your lies but now I'll say godbye.

I have did some things I'm not proud but all I wanted was your acceptance and love. I have lied And cheated I have cheated and lied so now I'll say goodbye

I know I was dumb I was just having fun, but I guess I got too caught up in my lies. today is the
day I am changing my ways I can no longer live in these lies. that's it I am done I hate this man I Have become so now I say goodbye.

By T.J. Tom.

I See us

I want to hold you in my arms.
I want to dance with you under the light of the moon,
as we did so many years ago.


I want you near.
I want you to hold you, dear.


Simply put, I want you.
I want you, I want the you I no longer know.


I think it's slipping away.
I feel it, I feel it every day.


I sit on this dock.
I am feeling the breeze, watching the waves sway with the wind.
I see us in the water.
We are drowning.
This can't be the end.

11/23/2019
T.J. Tom

One day.

One day, I'll know peace.
One day I will know love, maybe.
One day,  my existence will cease,
One day the reaper will come for me.

My mind is going to a place, where everything is black.
My sanity is going away again, and it's not coming back.
I wanna cry like a lost baby
I tell myself I love my life,
Its a lie I tell myself daily.

I am alive, but my spirit feels dead.
I'm breathing, but every breath is filled with dread.

One day,  my existence will cease,
One day my reaper will come for me.

Thomas James Tom
3/5/2019

Llama Love

Well I  met her down in Oklahoma when I was just eighteen.
She really had it going on if you know what I mean.

She's my sweet little thing,
She's my sugar mama,
Hot dam! Why did I have to go and fall in love with a llama.

Well you know It  felt so very wrong,
But she looked so very right.
I whispered  in her ear,
"Do you wanna come over here  tonight?"
She let out a neigh or whatever llamas say

Hot dam! little mama, I'm in love with a llama

Oh, now I'm banned from the zoo,
What will I do? Hotter than a sauna I love this llama.
Now I'm stuck in jail
I can't make bail.
Hot dam little mama
I'm in jail for stealing this llama.

By:Thomas James Tom
7/8/2019
Edited and revised 1/8/2020 by a very ****** man.