I have so many words for you
Words of truth
Words that tip toe
to the top of my tongue
plunge themselves into my lap
like folded love notes
I am not too nervous to give it to you
I'm far too nervous that I'll have to take it away
Now I understand why women cry during marriage proposals
The laboring and long suffering of getting to know yourself
then trusting yourself with someone else
is enough to make anyone cry. ❤️

Morning Sunshine
Said the Sun
Long before
The day begun

Hello Superstar
Said the Nova
Long before
The cow jumped over

the moon and all its magic
some days nights are tragic

yesterday was someones tomorrow
today our time is simply borrowed

from where we were
where are you from?
are you traveling?
how far have you come?

will it be long till you arrive
do you realize
the things we idolize

the truth isnt hard to find
we are the ones who choose to hide

I still stretch like a cat in the morning
Holding the breath of my last dream
inhaling the thoughts of my next one
You never meet me there.

I stumble to the kicthen
Wash my hands
& fry my eggs sunnyside up
You never meet me there.

I place my favortie coffee mug upon the counter
Fill it with rich, smooth, bold,  black coffee
let the creamer sweeten it as I open the blinds
You never meet me there.

Your absence is a noisy silence
When my heart yearns for you
It beats like an Orchestra
I don't know where you've gone
I do know my Mothers patience
Beyond a virtue
Is more like Celeste
Either she believes she'll see you again
Or you've never left

I cry sometimes
More often then I should
it doesn't get any easier
You never meet me there.

I reminisce sometimes
Not as often as I should
there's a peace in my past
I cannot leave you there.

You are my Father
You did your job
Above average is your middle name
Greatly was your first
& the last you left behind for us, Love
Greatly Above Average Love
You set a standard
You are my latest
Greatest
Inspiration
A million Thank You's I never gave
A billion hugs I can no longer give
When I make it to the deepest corners of my heart
I am confident
You will meet me there! <3

I feel strong
Light & airy
I want to love
Be loved

Most days...

My dreams are far away
I marvel at the galaxy of my ambition
I am an astronaut of success
Gravity just holds me hostage

Most Days...

I am a mess
I am uP
I am dOwn
I am...

Most Days...
Poetry doesn't visit me
Then days like today
The one's I love the most
It makes a call to my soul
Like an old friend
Like a favorite book
& I cherish each word I hear
or read
or see
Most Days I forget to remember that I am great
Today isn't one of those days <3

Your sons are suffering now
for what you did then
didn't have to pretend
that you had it all figured out
or that you figured how
to love the gift he gave
They are punishing us
Do you remember being forgiven
for taken for granted all you were given
that grudge you hold hangs low
over our souls
hard to be whole
when one half
struggles, striving to achieve what you never had
open your fists and hold you sons
reveal your empty hands
tell stories, honest ones
you didn't know
and your life formed from breath he spoke
you didn't realize
and you were the first lives
help our hearts carry the burden
loving away from God has us hurting
one another, one after the other
Adam
what did you say to Eve?
is the fact of who's fault it was what you truly believe?
did you have to labor for her love?
was it simple
was it verbal
was it instrumental
was it poetry
I know it was biblical
religiously you lead
the race in who we strive to be
seen
as
impossible
Adam if nothing else
See the light in your sons lives
See you
& be brave enough this time
to at least save yourself

for all the times your words cloaked my fear
like a fresh coat of snow in Nov
on a morning when school had been canceled
and you made magic mini waffles
and let me pretend my hot chocolate was coffee

this is where I start to tell you that you're beautiful
that I'll never forget how they laid themselves at our doorstep
wanting to be your husband
wishing they were my father
how their diamonds and pearls
never quite shined bright enough for you
how the memory of my father
was sunlight
starlight
moonlight
first star you saw at night
how you wished
for him
and on him
for me...

this is where I remind you that you're special
that every kid thinks there Mom is great
but many adults forfeit that thought at this age

this is where I confess
I may still have the spirit of my adolescent innocence
when it comes to you
I just might still believe you're superwoman
that you can fly
see through walls
and hear me from miles away

this is where I say I love you
for making all my dreams come true
through the sacrifice of your life

this is where I thank you
for putting me first
for being an example
for  not letting the world have me
keeping my influence good
and leading me in the right direction

this is where I say I'm sorry
that I can't make life any easier yet
that your bills aren't in my name
that the debt of raising a family by yourself
is one too big for my budget

this is where I promise
that I will bring you flowers
before I am Married
After I am a Mom
and for the rest of my life
not for any reason except
they're the first thing earth ever offered me
that made me as happy as your smile
planted deeply in your southern roots
I dont know how you stay so gentle in this rigid world
I only know you are worth more then any words

This is where I try to  stop writing
because words will never really be good enough
its hard to describe the beauty of another realm
when you only know this one
my language is limited here
I dont know the notes to sing
the melody of your love
keeps me alive
keeps me dancing
while the whole world is still

This is where I say I love you Mom
from the deepest parts of me
forever and a day
love your baby girl ;-)
xoxo

Trapped inside my body
prisoner of my mind
tired of relying on healing
on someone else's time
Truth is I can't breathe without love
So I will hold my breath
and the next time someone looks for me
I'll just play dead
but if they're wise they'll see me
see that light underneath my skin
they'll love themselves to my door
force me to let them in
I'll already be packed up
and prepared for whatever
when they decide to leave
we'll vacate this place together
thats why I never hang a picture
never set the time on my clocks
the arrival is all I want to remember
when time stops
I want out of this place
of pain, disappointment and hurt
I know my home is no longer here on this earth
Orphan to reality
foster child of its thoughts
doing never what I'm told
refusing to learn what I've been taught
I will keep to the course
Remain a spirit thats free
For I am, from the Great I am
& all I can be is me