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Katrina Zechman Jul 2015
Allontanato gettò acqua aperta
Vedo bei colori
Rosso, blu, verde, viola
vedere il maestro del mare
Si scivola da me sapendo im ci
Egli mantiene nuoto
È così bello
i colori
la luce
Io vedo il mare per quello che è
Katrina Zechman Nov 2015
it wasnt my choice
i didnt want it
i was drunk
i was 15 he was 18
im in high school
i puke... wet pants in the hospital bed
i cry
i cant sleep
i write
i draw anything to destract my mind
i want it to leave myhead
i want the faded demon to leave
no cuts but i want to
no soul but i need it
rapped and called a liar
im tired of it all
i want to be done and nobody will let me
Katrina Zechman Jan 2016
She comes to me to hold her up.
So beautiful and yet so sad
Her would don’t treat her right
Guys hurt her
Friend they hate her
But me I’m her boat in the ocean I keep her floating
Protect her from the hard waters
She use to hurt her self
Dripping blood in to the was to feed the sharks
Frenzy she is looking for a way out
I save her
Opened minded and fair
Beauty and despaired
Her eyes they cry so much yet they are so bright
She keeps floating and I will all ways save her from the beast under the sea
Katrina Zechman Jul 2015
I admire the tree in silence.
The way it clings to the rock
And works its way down into the river
Down into the earth.
I think about the knowledge of man.
All the things that men have told me
about the tree – about botany or biology.
They have said this
They have said that
Words whispered into the air and gone in time.
Knowledge is worthless in comparison to beauty
This tree is magnificent
And that is enough for me.
she
Katrina Zechman Jan 2018
she
She's expected to be strong,
She's expected to be the glue,
To the broken glass,
She's not expected to cry,
She's not expected to scream.

But in reality,
She's weak,
She's the broken glass,
She cries almost every night,
She holds in her screams,
But her mind is screaming.

She's expected to be nice,
By Almost every person she meets,
She's expected to be more than that,
She's expected not to be rude.

But in reality,
She's not as nice as much anymore,
She avoids people more than she should,
She's says she “okay” though,
just Not as she should

She's expected to be there for her friends,
She's expected to listen and give advice,
Not to complain or need advice,
To have the perfect life and relationships.

But in reality,
She's drifting away,
She listens, but not fully,
She needs to complain sometimes but never dose,
she is falling apart.

She's expected to have the perfect family,
No divorce, no lies, no backstabbing,
Nobody trying to hurt anyone,
No abuse, no fighting, no drugs

But in reality,
Her parents are divorced, her mom was beat,
sister *****, dad wants nothing to do with her,
her mom is married to someone new, who has more kids that is put over her, her mom was taken from her for a year and came back a completely different person, her mother steals, Her bio-father is a compulsive liar, her sisters put her down everyday, Her biological dad ***** her sister, He tried getting her mom to get rid her.

She's expected to be close to her sisters,
No fighting, no yelling, Glued to the hip,
Inseparable.

But in reality,
They fight constantly, She can't stand them,
They're the reason, Why she's so sad now,

She's expected to not cut, She's expected to not have scars,
Not to be depressed, Not to be addicted to such a wretched thing.

But in reality,
She's been cutting for years,
And was almost two years clean,
Because she wanted people to stop jugeding.

She has scars all around her thigh,
more on her wrist.
She's addicted to cutting, She's itching to,
But her mother doesn't think she is,
“If you really wanted to die you would be gone
You only do it because you want attention, and lashing out.”
That's what her mother says.

Little do they know,
That their perfect little girl
Is slipping away,
Soon, She'll will be gone, and they will miss her.
She will be expected to come back but she won’t.
Katrina Zechman Mar 2018
she is the one that pushes people to do better
she is the one who seems happy all the time
she is the one who seems like her life is grate
she is the one who knows the diffrenace between right and wrong
she is the one who know what its like to grow up with out a choice
she is the one everyone say will do better
she is the one who keeps all the darkness in.
she is the one who cries out her demons in the shower
she is the one who waas sapose to be a mother at the age of 15
she is the one who lost a child and dealt with it byherslef at the age of 15
she is the one who tires so hard to do right and live in she light of god
she is the one who got made fun of all her life
she is the one who pushed and shoved to get out of her house so she didnt feel trapped
she is the one who got her heart broke by the same man a 100 times
she is the one who got back up and dusted her pants off and started to smile
she is the one who kept her self going for 18 years
she is the one who didnt ever depned on anyone or dindt want to when she did
she is the one who sat goals that she knew she would never reach
she is that one
she is the one who know me more than me
she is the one who knows her choices
she is the one who know what she has been threw
she is the one who has had HOPE
she is ME
#me
Katrina Zechman Nov 2015
i think bout it some times
the urge is there
the blood red liqud
it dires from blue to red to dark red brown.
people in this world
sick and twisted
no clue what other go threw
beatings, yelling, drugs, cuts, more drugs , more fake smiles
the purge, the beast, nobody knows
there was no beauty in the beast.
im tired of anger, im tired of pain, tired of the besat just exsploding out
Katrina Zechman Nov 2015
Silence everywhere
nobody speaks, nobody breathes
everyone listening, nobody caring
the wounds the silence creates
cut deep, but still no scream
tired so mad, so hurt, so sad,
more pain, less smiles
the silence takes over
silence its everywhere and nowhere
Katrina Zechman Aug 2015
Sinful and sticky among the shadows
I confound brilliant devils beyond the water
Ahhh! The ***** will vanish
Dark and sensuous against the shadows
I transform dull witches above the mist
Zounds! The thought is done
Sinful and green before the fog
We confound glowing flames beneath the mud
Awaken! The stink was hard
scared tired
saying goodbye
a sense of danger
Where in the end
the lost man
come singing
not knowing why
One gone forever, sharp and sudden as a knife,
Her absence carves a canyon through my life
And the others - three sisters standing apart
Close in blood, but distant in heart

Whispers of memories, fragmented and pale
Connections that shattered beyond repair's veil
She was the one who might have understood
The spaces between us, misunderstood

Photographs exist, but they tell no true story
Of the silence that echoes, the unspoken worry
Four sisters once whole, now scattered like sand
Each holding a piece we can't comprehend

The eldest who left me before I could speak
The others who drifted, connection so weak
And her - my lost sister - the one forever young
Whose song in my heart remains unsung

I carry her memory like a stone in my chest
While living sisters remain distant guests
No shared secrets, no late-night talks
Just polite Christmas cards and awkward walks

One taken by death, three by invisible walls
Each separation quietly wounds and appalls
A family fractured, connections undone
Four sisters - yet feeling like none
Katrina Zechman Nov 2015
So Far done
ive crossed my point now
i want to see the red paint flow out of my wrist
i want to seen the tears flow out of my eyes
i want the pain to escape of out my vain
i want to sleep for an enternity
i want to be done
i want to go and see my king
i want to love again
i want my demons to be relsed
im so far done, and nobody cares
im done i crave the pain now
i crave the red paint from before
the hunger is gone and the strangth is too
the happy smile is gone im done
scars will cover my body once again and nobody will ask
because i know im so far done
hell open your gates you have a fallen angel on the way
Katrina Zechman Dec 2017
Im sorry,  i didnt know.  Im speachless
I didnt know what to say,  other than sorry.  I made a mistake.  Now your mad.  And now im stuck.  I feel bad cause you lost your work.  So now im as spechleas as we are sunless.  I didnt think.  I know no exscuse..  I still love you even tho im speachless and sunless
Katrina Zechman Aug 2015
We are poisonous beneath the tomb
We meet rabid ghosts beyond the dreamscape
Repent! The King is vanishing
Evil and desirous about the *******
You shove glowing keys over the dream
Awaken, awaken! The birth never ends
Strangely entrancing before the tomb
We destroy dank goats against the trees
Yo! The vision is no more
wavering unseeing
walking out of the world
an old passport
Under what skies
the lover
take another road
when the world was new
Katrina Zechman Dec 2016
He was always my pillar when I knew I'd fall
Always my anchor, so strong and tall
His hard face changes only for me
His softer side, so careless and free
He knows my dreams are too big for this place
His little girl's leaving, ready to begin her race
He knows I'll be thinking of him wherever I go
I know I'm ready to do this on my own
But still I cry and he holds me tight
He tries to be strong, not a tear in sight
I'm ready to reach for the stars in the sky
He's ready to watch his princess fly
It's time to let go, sure of a path to take
But now I know, even pillars can break
For when I drive away, trying to stifle my cries
All I could see were tears in my father's eyes
from a daughter to a father that was never there
Katrina Zechman Jul 2015
I'm shaking and seeing red
Im blacking out before anything is said
Its the fight I try to hide
The anger that rages in me
The dark mystical clouds in my eyes they swirl till I am shaken
I am enraged I see red and black
Don't know what's happing
I want to fight to relse my anger
But the beast dont want to run it wants to play
Katrina Zechman Oct 2015
your there, i try to be invisable
i cant take it
your there smileing casue you see me
i turn around
you call out my name and laugh
i shiver and turen back around
you smile that smile again
and i walk over
your smile its inviting
i get there and you stick your knife of words in my cheast
i breath, and turn and walk away
i go to the bathroom and cry
its happeing again
i take my pencil and scrtch the surface of scars that had finaaly healed
they crack open
i take my rist band and slide it over
nobody will know
i will live in scilence
The house holds its breath when I step inside,  
Its walls, a silent witness to where I’ve cried.  
The floors creak beneath a heavy weight,  
Not just my steps—but pain’s quiet freight.  
The scars on my skin have long since healed,  
But inside, there are wounds I’ve yet to seal.  
The ghost of his hand still burns on my face,  
The kicks and the shoves that time can't erase.  
Every room is a canvas of violent hues,  
A story painted in blacks and blues.  
The air hangs thick, a suffocating dread,  
As memories linger like whispers unsaid.  
His’s grip—too tight to ignore,  
His’s rage—left cracks in the door.  
Now, no marks remain, no outward trace,  
But the ache lingers in this haunted space.  
My chest tightens as if bound by chains,  
Phantom blows reignite buried pains.  
The house is a prison, its walls a snare,  
Each breath a battle with despair.  
But this time, there’s no bruise to see,  
No proof of the storm that rages in me.  
I tell myself this is the last,  
That I’ll leave behind the echoes of the past.  
One day, I’ll walk free from this cursed place,  
Leave behind its ghosts, reclaim my grace.  
Until then, I carry these scars unseen,  
A warrior fighting to break free, to dream.
Katrina Zechman Feb 2016
She goes through the looking glass
Into the garden, they try to eat her
The realize who she is
She can save them
They put her down
She runs out the door into the ocean
She has to dry it up
She keeps going and going till her sanity snaps
Alyssa, Alison, Anna, Alice and more.
She looks through the looking glass into the Heart of wonderland
Katrina Zechman Dec 2014
I run, I jump from roof to roof
The World is my home
A train takes me a float like an oceans wave
I hunt the living
I prey on the week
I seek out the darkness just to crumble again
I run through the ally’s
Travel for I have no home
I am just yet a Rebel
Who hides in the shadows?
I do not
Love, yet I cry
I do not see, yet I know where to go
After all I Am the Rebel Child who hides in the shadows and preys on the week
Katrina Zechman Jul 2015
How shall I hold my soul so it does not
touch on yours. How shall I lift it
over you to other things?
Ah, willingly I’d store it away
with some lost thing in the dark,
in some strange still place, that
does not tremble when your depths tremble.
But all that touches us, you and me,
takes us, together, like the stroke of a bow,
that draws one chord out of the two strings.
On what instrument are we strung?
And what artist has us in their hand?
O sweet song.
Katrina Zechman Apr 2017
My undoing is you.
My unbecoming is certain.
I had my hopes up. But you undid them too.
My undoing is yours.
You strip me till I'm plain and cold, filled of nothingness.
The meaning is differed
the undoing of history
the undoing of life.
My soul is filled of gold. It's getting chipped but the undoing of your cold hands.
Your my undoing.
My my unbecoming
Katrina Zechman Dec 2017
I was your #1 fan from the beginning
never lost me never went anywhere
we talk about anything
in the beginning I was always nervous and worried about everything but you
I didn’t want to admit it I was to suborn
We tried giving it a shot
it was a busta just like your 1st rap
we were both to worried about ex to see
we had the best in front
your music is something ill always support
ill always be the number one fan
love your voice hearing it go so fast
burning every ***** out there
for the love of a rap we love each other
I’d put my love on your music
Katrina Zechman Apr 2016
You're my man, my mighty king,
And I'm the jewel in your crown,
You're the sun so hot and bright,
I'm your light-rays shining down,
You're the sky so vast and blue,
And I'm the white clouds in your chest,
I'm a river clean and pure,
Who in your ocean finds her rest,
You're the mountain huge and high,
I'm the valley green and wide,
You're the body firm and strong,
And I'm a rib bone on your side,
You're an eagle flying high,
I'm your feathers light and brown,
You're my man, my king of kings,
And I'm the jewel in your crown.
Trucks and dinosaurs scatter the floor,
Echoes of laughter I desperately adore
With pockets turned inside out, I stand
Wondering how to provide, how to expand

Grocery bills climb like Jack's magic bean,
Shoes outgrown before they're even seen
His eyes bright with needs I long to fulfill,
Each month a juggle, each paycheck a skill

Patches on jeans, hand-me-down shirts,
Trying to hide the financial hurts
One more snack, one more toy he might desire
While I count pennies near the dwindling fire

But love doesn't cost a thing, I remind myself tight
His smile worth more than any monetary might
These boy-sized dreams in my worn-out arms,
Richer than money, safer than harm

Resourceful and strong, a mother's true art
Stretching each dollar with my loving heart
Though struggles are real and the path seems so narrow,
My son is my treasure, my hope, my sparrow
Katrina Zechman Nov 2015
I trusted you and her but you laid my body down
The alcohol it poisoned me with a burden
The mind set of you and her on me
My body it’s ***** my mind is filled
All I can think about is the grossness of it
She cut we tried to protect her
But the alcohol poisoned me
Blood and dark red
A tortures red hands horror
The lies were told the hands the were everywhere
The story will never be heard
The pain will forever be felt
Dark red hands they leave marks I know now
Never will I never know again
Katrina Zechman Nov 2015
we use to hate echother
i was there when you need me the most
i need you the most and your trying not to be there for me
how can i trust you?
how can i be there for you when you fall on your face?
i dont understand i helped you in every way
but i get shut out when i need it
thats not a firend
thats not being true
its not being real
i needed you and your not here
you will need me but i wont be there casue your buring our brige
we've know echother for bout 3 years now.....
how can you do that
its not my fualt im going threw this
its not my fualt
i cry
i scream
i hold the razor to my wrist wanting to let the deep red soil
flow out of my vains
i fight it
i fight my demons alone
i thought we were firends
Katrina Zechman Dec 2014
lovely little girl
looking out from under her lashes
big bright world, she doesn't know what to do with it
newly released into the world with little more
than a whisper on her lips, a blessing tucked in the corner of her mouth
and the words that appear in the sand
of the beach she stands upon for the first time
"you will be magnificent"
Us
Katrina Zechman Dec 2017
Us
I don't know how to feel some times
It's like your trapped between 2 choices.  Me and her.  You love me but your minds on her some times.  And when your mad or upset you don't think of the things you say you just think that nobody actually gives a ahit.  I wish you could see everything that Roman didn't destroy I gave you.  You have my everything.  My life is in your hands you fall I fall. You have problem s going on I get it.  
My family dose drugs my sister was in jail on my 18th birthday for being involves with the her I on epademic.  I get bullyed everyday on social media.  I get told to shut the **** up.  Or that I'm stupid or my ma tell me ******* every single day.  I feel fat and ugly everyday.  I hate that I have a stomach I hate that I where glasses I hate me.  I taught my self how to be alone.  I delt with my dad ****** my sister my step dad beating my sisters(there bio dad) for talking to me.  Watched my mom get beat.  I watch my mom get taken from me watched my dad get taken from me... I tired to **** my self and had to lie about so I didn't get sent away so I could try again.  I used to sleep on a couch in the living room. I was almost ***** when I was 8 again when I was 13 and I was ***** when I was 16 a sphmore in highschool.  Fell for a cheating *** whole cause I craved love and ***.... I draw to get ride of the pain.  I lost a son when I was 14. While my best friend that was pregnant with hers got to keep them.  I gave you my everything after that 1St date which is why I never told him that I loved him after that day.  Cause I relized eventually that I don't love him.  I don't.  I love you.  I see a future.  I see us having a place of our own.  I see us getting married and me being yours forever I see us traveling.  I see me and you.  Baby I gave you my soul....  I love you.  And will always love you. I get that your going threw hell.  I get your scared of love.  I am too.  But babe we gotta learn to husle together. Be together and how to help each other.  Babe please know that I do love you.  Please know I love you for who you are.  I want to be an us.  Your my strangthe.  With out you I don't have my heart.
Katrina Zechman Jul 2016
you been there, from start to finish
i was into it more, then you were,
now we are spread out amongst the darkness
there is a void in my heart.
i tried to fill it with another picture
theres a wall built in my cheast
bricks and bricks then there is a gold cage with a dark space
deep and deep there a tiny red spot. my heart
the picture will sit there but if you cant make it there then
the void will stay.
Katrina Zechman Dec 2017
She was addicted to writing, just like he was
addicted to rap. her dad loathed her mother
the words she heard from his voice calmed her
that love that grew threw the music
a walk of love from Rap
he dips in to player games
is there fame in money without love?
is the sound bored better than a party with your girl?
They love in the same way
Music is music
love is love
rap is rap
writing is writing
They walk in a love of rap.
Katrina Zechman Dec 2014
What evil makes you hurt me so,
What defect of the heart?
What sense there is no greater whole
Of which you are a part?
What lonely choice that only you
Be served by what you choose?
What hard, hard fear of losing what
It is a gift to lose?
I dream sometimes my waiting love
Has made you turn again.
But you care only for yourself,
And I must love in vain.
Katrina Zechman Dec 2016
Barely seconds into something, already hooked.
Why question anything if you know your stuff?
You know best that it’s easy to be overlooked,
Especially when you’re a diamond in the rough.

Undiscovered diamonds are beautiful no less,
Though nobody looks, for it seems a time waste,
It didn’t catch the eye, the moment won’t press,
Still there sits a wonderful creation, ever chaste.

Seemingly distant, yet inside shines with allure,
If not an established masterpiece it is known,
The unfamiliar treasure has naught to reassure,
The hallucination of becoming a precious stone.

All the treasured pieces and items universally,
Either tell a great tale, or will fetch a fine price.
The Wildflower diamond untold commercially,
And without a story, could be mistaken for ice.
Katrina Zechman Jul 2015
My love for wolfblood is so great,
my heart melts for her 'til the dusk of day.
The night howls when her's away,
sits, running 'til day's dawn.

Her beauty is great,
Wondering mind 'til her sees,
howling is all I do,
While waiting for the moment, for her to say "I do."
You
Katrina Zechman Dec 2017
You
This warmth inside, they say it is my heart
But all this time it was beat and I didnt noticed till i was with you.
Where did it go? This glowing thing.  This beating pressure.
Where? This spreading feeling. Happy and glowing
While I'm thinking of you. it warms me. But how did you get in?
Sometimes I let people in but do not
understand, its a strange land of undiscovered fellings, but I lived so long in solitude that
everything and nothing passes me by till
you that is, till you, but why does thinking
about you make me warm.
Is it that you live in my heart?
And I no longer fake
the smile upon my face, the curling of
my mouth. If you live inside of me, do
I in you? Can that be true? Do i?

— The End —