Cleaning out old files in my mind.
Sweeping away rot and decay,
To make way for new mess.
This endless paradox of insanity.

Pushing the chair away,
Waiting for someone new to fill your space.
This table was once full,
A family of people.
Now it's just me. My poems,
Yet somehow it feels crowded.

An empty room with no air to breathe,
Suffocated in my minds inabilities.
Indecisiveness, breaking news!
"Hey look, everyone. This kid is insane."
In truth I don't know what I am,
Who I'll be or where I'm heading...

Terrified of behind left behind by my mind,
Stuck in a moment that happened years ago,
Clawing with every cigarette he smokes and bottle he drinks.
But the climb is never easy with whiskey stained hands and ash covered feet.

Well, I lost myself in your bedsheets
but I beat myself up when I ran away.
you know that I adore you,
but I've never loved myself.

So how could a daisy ever survive a hurricane?
this storm in my mind is too much,
an unstable anomaly.
sweeping away happiness and leaving a scar across the landscape.

Well, I'm too unstable to ever be any good for you,
so please just find someone that has a paradise in their mind,
leave me in this dust land I live in,
dry mouth and burning lungs,
but my heart will always fly with the birds.

Well my life was doomed from the begining.
Punch in the face by life itself,
Everyone else lives their lives on a predefined pavement
With barriers and lanes, they divide their life into devotion,
Pledging to reach the end of the road.

Well we ****** up few live our lives on a different route,
Far away, a broken road with potholes and cracks,
Called the high way for a reason, a road with no end,
We travel down alone and alone we die.

I'm sorry to anyone who's got close to me
Felt my feeling and tried to help.
I'm a sinking ship, a broken tool that no one can fix
An unfixable annomaly without a reason.
High all the time to ignore the fact I was never going to die of old age.

Well it will all be for nothing,
But I never achieved much
Never had a plan anyway
So there isn't much to loose.

So if I can push the people around me,
Ensure they never have to face a hurricane alone,
Give them a feeling of existence, happiness and life,
Then atleast my efforts will not be for nothing.

My life is an animation.
Just a cartoonists drawing as I drip and slide with the cosmic flow.
Bouncing off objects and seeping through the floor, deeper and deeper as I lose myself once again.
Neither existing or otherwise, just flowing and leaving it behind. Scene to scene, nothing more than a prescribed drop of emotions.
A slowmotion adventure as I explore possibilities.

This girl. This ******* girl.
She's drifting into my life like autumn wind.
Running around, catching the leafs,
Because I can't let go of such a gorgeous girl.
Hair the colour of bonfires, wrapping around, warming my heart.
Well my heart's turned to ash and my lungs are burnt,
But she gives me a new reason to escape these demons.

Jesus Christ, I can't get you out of my mind.
The other-thinking and paranoia escapes when my lips touch hers.
A star kissed face, freckles and eyes..
Her eyes.. my God, I could look into those eyes for hours.
Because I've never been good at trusting, and I don't know how to let people care for me,
But I see the same pain behind her eyes,
And it's mesmerising.

Well these ******* naps have got me waking up drunk.
Broken knuckles and scars I don't remember.
So many days spent in a daze,
Drinking and smoking haze.
A complex distraction for a complex problem.
It's killing me, I know, but maybe that's better than nothing at all.

How can you ask a self destructive mess to not be paranoid.
All the nights I spend hating myself
Analysis to a grand scale, of every miniscule detail.
Every second of the sunset, every plant that grows I turn to dust.
Why can I only ruin this paradise,
Too late to save someone, too ****** up to let someone love me.

This is pain,
Ruining my chances and knowing what I've done.
Hating myself for the actions I do, and the things I don't say.
Blaming myself, constantly.

But let's do another line, and wash it down with spirits,
Drown them in substances and pretend we're okay until it kills us.