I am an alcoholic
Drunk on you
Sober 52 minutes and counting;
Down to the next glass.
You're bad for me,
But I keep swallowing the burn
And I crave you after a long day
After a hard day
After a good day
With every meal
And for every celebration
And to spend those rock bottom moments
On the rocks with you
But the ***** is
You're my whiskey and coke
And you leave me there, with only
My loneliness left down to choke.

writing for non-recognition**

“It was exhilarating to get the chance to be useful, which is always an issue for a writer.”
          Garrison Keillor


a hundred readings, so flattering,
the heart tickled, nicely fluttering,
then one day it is a thousand,
and the crushing soul flattening
has set a new higher,
a low base needs an achieving
in every thing

**** writing for recognition,
need a few thousand, ten will fill the bill,
now
to consider myself ok average,
which shhh,
I know I am

now have to choose each word
with great daring caring,
worthy of the great writer
whose devotees demand,
offer a simple choice, want want
pleasured ooh ah's of perfection or
face sacrifice
on the poetry altar
of the Feed Me Seymour plant of
being ignored to a
vegetative death

**** writing for recognition,
you want my I-curse,
steal my purse,
reach in, take my cigarette styx,
exhale a **** poem

**** writing for recognition,
please don't read my hand crafted,
diamond cutter designed,
succulent crap
go away, don't like me, and for god's sake
don't dare love me,
that's a killer,
then my busted ballon ego can't be taped
back together again by Humpty Dumpty's men

after this will never revisit the prior past,
that will not - shall not exist

one anonymous poet
spilling with unfazed unglued fluency
disregarding what pleases,
writing spilling that which surged
that electrify
my soul
and then never
to them return

**** writing for recognition,
no more subbing
no more sinning
no more using
just me using me
up

We said I love you so many times
that I thought leaving and
forgetting wasn't an option
for us.

It took longer to separate ourselves because
every time I wanted to untie my heart from yours,
you held on.
And every time you were ready to loosen the knot,
I came back around...

We did this for a while.

You see, soul ties aren't two heart strings in a loop knot
You can't pull away and it'll. just. come undone.

We had to fuss. We had to cry. We had to go through what we went through to finally
Untie ourselves
from each other.

I’m lost among several places
No idea where I should go

I carry my fears
I carry my thoughts

No escapes  
More faults

When you left me everything started change.
I can’t feel my heart
I can’t feel my bones  

The worst thing that I face
knowing myself I can’t change
My heart is burning in every time
To accept that you will never be mine

Pains can let us born again
or
**** us and die forever