My existence
Just
Feels
So
Heavy

Suddenly you transformed
Into a broken mirror.
All of the ugly, fragmented shards
Of my soul
Staring right back at me.

Leave it to the mind
Of a flower
To deny the beauty of
It’s own petals
Even though
It shares the same soil
As all of the others

I want to lay with you
Late at night
And exchange loving words,
The moon and the stars
Our only witness

Tonight
I stood in front of the mirror
Bottle in hand
The world as blurry as my feelings.
Someone please help me

You reached into my ribcage
And pulled out my heart
And the second it rested in your hands
It started to fall apart.
Everyone who’s ever held it
Broke it a little more
Leaving it more fragile
Than it ever was before.
My heart is way too delicate
And it has too many cracks
And the pieces didn’t fit quite right
When they were put back.
You took one look and made a face
And put it back into my chest
And said, “I’m sorry this will never work
But I wish you all the best”.
I wasn’t mad, I didn’t cry,
I was almost fine,
After all who could love
Such an ugly heart like mine.

As the smoke clears
I am left with the perfect image
Of the destruction I caused.
Here the air is heavy,
The weight of my mistakes
occupies all of the space in my lungs.
And tonight,
As I stand alone,
The urge to etch my flaws
Into my skin
Overwhelms me.
It craves the kiss of cold metal.
I am fighting a never ending battle
And my body keeps the score.