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This pillow case will never be the same
My heart is low and the tears won't stop
No matter what I'll ever do
I've sealed my fate and I lost you
I'm so sorry...
The magic in your eyes,
The "make my knees weak" smile,
The "my heart skipped a beat" moment.
The "world stopped turning" for a while.
That electric feeling,
when our elbows touch,
That comforting lie,
"I've missed you so much"
The heat of the moment,
When my hand wraps around your waist,
and I pull you close,
with the other hand on your face,
The "drumroll" leading,
to the firework kiss,
The warm embrace after,
that always makes me wish,
That if clocks could be broken,
Then so would be time,
And I wouldn't have to hurry,
In this paradise of mine,
and all these heavens,
that begin with a hello,
All disappear,
and time begins to slow,
and I try my hardest not to show you,
but no matter how hard I try,
The hell in hello,
is when you say goodbye.
No goodbyes, No goodbyes,
just hellos,
just hellos.
 Jun 2015 Makenzie Marie
Mr X
I fear the ones who
Possess the power
To bend minds.

I fear them.
I wake up feeling regret
It stays until the sun sets
The same story every day
I'm wondering how I still feel sane
The visitors that come try to bring good news
But in my mind they only bring more blues

I'm not confined to four square walls
But all I feel to do is bawl
I see the hurt that's in your eyes
but do you see what in my disguise
I try to smile and try not to lie
but deep inside I've felt things die

I love you dearly
I swear I do
You just don't want
What I pursue
You **** my dreams and say their false
You're making it feel like thick square walls

You watched me grow
Reap what you sow
I'm who I am
I've got a plan
I wish you'd see it
But nothing seems fit
To what you want
So I'll just try not to taunt

I love you mom
I love you dad
Just please understand
That yes, I'm sad
I just want help
but not from you
that's why I wish
I'd never flew
 May 2015 Makenzie Marie
s
Untitled
 May 2015 Makenzie Marie
s
It hurts to pretend all the time
It hurts to fake life
It hurts to find what's hidden under your skin
It hurts to look in the mirror
It hurts to stand on the wrong number
It hurts hating yourself.
It hurts when you don't live for yourself anymore
I don't know why I am alive
I ruin everything
I ruin people
I break things
I don't know what I'm saying
I don't know why I am typing
I don't know anything anymore
Including myself
Vent session
 May 2015 Makenzie Marie
s
ten
 May 2015 Makenzie Marie
s
ten
When I was five my mom taught me how to count to ten.
I liked the number ten
I thought that I could rule the world cause I knew how to count to ten.
I could play hide and seek now
I could make a hopscotch
I could be like my older sister
The number ten made me so happy.
When I was six I went to kindergarten
Counting to ten was baby stuff
But I still liked ten
My kindergarten teacher taught me that counting to ten ten times makes one hundred.
I cried to my mom when I got home
It seemed too complicated
So I kept counting to ten
Life was easier when only numbers one through ten existed.
When I was twelve there was a group of mean girls
Ten of them
I didn't like the number ten
that much anymore.
Cause according to them it was
How much weight I needed to lose (10lbs)
How many of my friends hate me (10)
How high I would score on a test (10%)
I could always hear them coming
all their ten steps in sync
Walking in a V
They were a flock of birds
Getting ready to attack a poor penguin who couldn't fly like them.
When I was sixteen all of the mean girls went to a different school.
I didn't have to be with the ten anymore.
I had to be with myself
I lost 10 lbs
Plus extra
I have no friends now, turns out the ten friends I had really didn't like me.
When I was sixteen boys would line up one through ten
One and two would make me cry
I told three and four that they were a waste of time, they would just hurt me
I gave five a chance
He broke me
The other five didn't get to know me
Even though they tried
They could never really know me
The me who liked only the numbers one through ten.
The me who cries at night remembering the monsters
The me who hates myself
I fake it so well
I put up a wall
Ten bricks up
Ten bricks across
My second grade teacher would have asked me how many bricks I used
But it doesn't really matter anymore
Cause behind that wall I'm self destructing
I wish I only had to count 1-10
This is sloppy but it was shoved in my head had to get it out.
 May 2015 Makenzie Marie
s
trying
 May 2015 Makenzie Marie
s
I am trying to turn over a new leaf
I am going to smile more on the inside
I am going to try and think positive
I am going to make goals
I am going to reach them
I will become a better person
I want to help others
I want to help myself
I have hope that I can do it
I don't have to be perfect but
I have to keep trying.
Just like the Marathon runner doesn't give up when he is tired
I am going to be strong
Be better
I know I will have falls
But if I just stand up and keep sprinting
I know I can make it
We all can.
I need to try :) things are looking up
"The Mouse Principle of Life Processing: Let Go or Get Dragged."
 Apr 2015 Makenzie Marie
ahmo
Trees
 Apr 2015 Makenzie Marie
ahmo
A horizon and a half to see-
he's putting mind over matter,
and I think it might matter.
But how is one to find out?

Does the Jellyfish not sting,
or the caged bird sing?

My answers are not confident,
despite some marvelous attempt.
I'm still held in contempt
over a crime drowned below the surface.

She raised the platform, fortunately.
And unfortunately,
she was only there hypothetically.

(She still has no idea



okay, I ate the last chocolate.
***** me.)

Next time,
I'll catch you if you fall.
And cage you if you sing.
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