i was told once
as a joke
that i bring the rain
everywhere i go

i clenched my teeth
and softly laughed
while looking at them
shining like little suns

their sun-rays danced around the room
pure and free
and untainted by the rain
that was pouring all over me

i felt my eyes turn into oceans
as i gazed at the cloudy sky
while the rain was pouring down
every single drop felt like mine

I hope
that when our paths cross once more
you won’t notice my hands
reaching out to touch yours
I hope
you divert your gaze
and never look back,
continue your journey
without holding still the remorse
of a failed love story
I hope, sincerely,
for you to live life fully
without having once cross your mind
the thought that we were not born in this lifetime
to be one another’s burner in times of storm.

There are days
That I look in the mirror and see
An unfamiliar face
There’s a disconnect and I’m
Dissociative.
I know it’s me,
But it feels all so strange
To not feel anything at all.
There are off days
When I speak to people
And I feel nothing from their eyes
They’re just empty and I’m
Dissociative.
You want to have some emotion
But frankly,
There’s none there
Because a glass wall has arisen
Between you and the world
And that’s
Dissociative.
Like the time I was walking
And it was a movie all around me
No depth,
Just a two dimensional view
I was
Dissociative.
Or that time that I was floating
In the top right of my body
As only my concious,
Looking down on myself
Because I was
Dissociative.

|
|
under stars
in the cold desert
mercy falls
like rain
|
|

I know my texts don't excite you anymore,
But you are polite enough to reply it anyway
And if I call you, you'll receive it too
But I know you cringe when you hear my voice
Just for the night , you needed me
Just for that one night
The night's already over
But I m not over you yet

I remember everything, so clearly in my head
How beautifully you sang, & I sang along with you
How you made me laugh, laugh & laugh so hard
How you held my hands & we tried to dance
How your lips blew life to my cold and dry spirit
How the butterflies in my stomach fluttered
How my cheeks turned crimson and I looked away
But you kept on staring at me
Like  you wanted to fall in love...

I did not undress my body that night,
I undressed my soul
I put it right in front you
Just in its purest form
I let you see me,
See all my imperfections
I told you all my fears,
The secrets I hid inside,
I thought this is it,
This is what I had been looking for,
My soul was happy
And thought it had found "THE ONE"

Little did I know, it was only for the night
Just for that one night
So tell me who do I blame?
Blame you for setting up my hopes high
Or blame me for believing the truth like lie
Or should I just blame the night?
The night for lasting just awhile.......