I don't understand.

(*******)

I ******* told you, and then you had the audacity to to say "you need to tell us when something's up" like I hadn't literally just done that.

*******.

I don't think you were ever my ******* friend and this is a final goodbye.

*******.

I'm sorry that I want to be treated like I'm not invisible.

(*******.)

But that isn't an apology to you.

(*******.)

It's an apology to myself for letting you treat me like that.

(*******)

Friends aren't only friends when it's just the two of them.

(*******)

Friends don't just want to hang out when they don't have plans.

*******.

Friends don't only care when they feel obligated.

*******!

At this point,
It's like clockwork.

I neglect to tell you something,
Because I'm scared you'll get mad,

I finally tell you,
You get mad.

And now we're not friends.
It happens with every friend I have.

Up and down,
Written in my
Own personal language,

Crossing my skin
In a sharp,
Bitter, language- personal

To me and
My skin, an
Ode to life

New year,
New me.
Or,
At least that's the idea,
Right?

I haven't really told anyone...
I've been counting calories,
Starving.
Working out.
It needs to stop,
I guess.

I'll figure it out.

New year New me.

Sounds nice.

Hey.
I sent you another text.
Maybe I shouldn't've.
I was hoping to tell you something.
I don't really know if you care but.
I ate a proper amount today for the first time in months.
Have you eaten?
You probably haven't.
That's okay.
I get it.
I think under normal circumstances you'd be proud.
I actually ate fries and shortcake today.
I forgot my meds though so it made me feel icky.
It's okay.
I even ate some chocolate.
Nearly a full meal at McDonald's.
Well...
At least half.
I gave it my best, though.
How are you?
How's your mom?
Have you eaten?
(I miss you)
How's your girlfriend?
(I love you)
What's been up?
How can I fix this?!?


I'm sorry.

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