What the hell is wrong with me?

I don't want to care,
I don't wanna feel like this anymore

I can't ask for your help
because i would have
to explain myself,
and that would make it
ten times worse

I should just stop speaking to you,
but you did nothing to hurt me;
I'm stupid and i overreact
because I'm insecure
and, on my mind,
there's no place for me
in your heart

But what if,
maybe,
I'm not wrong at all?

Dear The One,
It's been a while since I've written one of these...
How do they go again...?
I hope you're doing fine,
I am, or at least, I think I am
See the conversations that take place between us, going back and forth, day in and day out, haven't added anything to my life.
All it feels like is us dragging our goodbye for one more day
For one more week
For one more month
When do I get to say goodbye and assure myself that I won't be getting anything from you anymore?
I don't know if I'm dreading that or if I'm going to finally feel relieved
See, you've said that time is finally on our side,
But I'm still standing at the sidewalk with my arms outstretched palms open, begging for you
I don't believe I love you as much as I used to
If love is a choice then I do not wish to choose it
At least not with you
I don't think love is about waiting around for someone to finally notice me
You either do or you don't and anything in between is a waste of my precious ******* time
So get your **** together and figure out what you want
Cause whatever time I've dedicated to you, I'm bound to take back.
I'm not going to cast a second glance your way, and maybe then,
You'll regret the decision you've made