I woke up in the morning, My cat was reading Twain,
I tugged his tail so hard, It yanked his little brain.

My Father walks down the stairs yelling "revolution on the rise."
And I know he really meant it, I could see it in his eyes.

I said: "whoa whoa pops what's up with you? You're actin' slightly mad,"
He said: "well son, here we go I'll tell whats got me sad.

Yesterday the mail came and I saw a ***** word,
It said, taxes are coming soon, You'd better hire a new nerd.

So I walked down to the town hall with this witchcraft in my fist,
they said well sir you gotta wait in line, and then marked me on a blacklist.

So I got on a bus back home, for to find a new kazoo,
and then an animal walked on and said 'son wanna hold my shoe?'

I said no way man you got a filthy disease,
You look like a racoon and you smell like rotten cheese.

Then It said hold me to sooth me ease the pain of life
And I guess I did, next thing I knew it was the end of Saturday night.

I said oh no my taxes are due I gotta find a nerd,
I saw one eating spaghetti with the cat and a purple bird.

I walked over stylishly and then in one swoop I stole the nerd,
then I kissed the cat, broke my back and ate that little bird.

Yes I loaded up my harpoon, with a fistful of grapes,
And I got ready to fire for to make my great escape.

I shoot them at my enemies, and let them pop in their face,
Then mama came, took my '**** and put me in my place.

Yelling: 'Oh Joy, Oh Joy I found my car, now lets go take the bus',
I said Lets go my dear, Its time for us to float like living dust.

Then the Medicine man Comes in with a skull on his cane.
Then he Hits mama so hard she began to go insane.

It was just then we got home so I left her on the bus,
Next time I'll just take the train, at least its color ain't like pus."

A long time ago, before the days of Henry VIII, There was a young farmer.
Dryden had inherited his land from his recently passed father.
It was a luxurious plot, the greatest and largest around.
There was however, Dryden noticed:
A large area of land his father never used.
Time passed and eventually Dryden decided he would begin to farm that land.
When he arrived at the small plot, he realized it was perfect farmland.
The soil was perfect , sunlight was plentiful but the dirt remained moist.

     Dryden began to sow the seeds he had brought.
It was strenuous and demanding work.
Dryden worked for seven hours and finished right in time to leave before the sun went down.
When he turned to look at his work however, Dryden saw a campfire, burning brightly.
Dryden approached slowly, when he got to the fire, to his shock, there was a small Devil sitting in it.
It was Blood red with grey cloudy eyes, the feet of a goat and arms the size of a baby's.
At the sight of Dryden it began to do a dance. It was repulsive.
"What is your business here?"
Dryden asked in a brave demanding tone.
The creature began to cackle.
It said this:
"This land is full of potential, this land will bare much treasure. You will give me half of all that you grow on this land this year, I have no use for money, but the fruits I desire"
Intimidated, Dryden could find no way out of the deal, but then a thought came to his head.
He said:
"Fine you may have half of what is grown here. To make it even I will take what grows under the ground and you may take what is above ground"
The devil agreed and went away in a wicked manner.

    Dryden however knew this season was for beets not the corn.
The devil was not all knowing, so he did not know this.
When the time came to harvest, the devil returned.
While Dryden loaded is basket with beets to sell.
The little devil was empty handed, save for a couple wild berries.
The devil was furious, and called over Dryden.
He said:
"You tricky man, how dare you. This time I will take what is below ground."
Dryden agreed.

     Of course this time the corn sprouted, and when the devil returned he saw this.
Dryden approached and said:
"There you go Little Devil, You've gotten what you wanted, regardless of what you desired. Go now, do not come back."
The devil was upset at himself for its lack of knowledge about farming and left Dryden and his land alone for the rest of his life.

I always carry in my pocket a string.
And tied to that string there is a watch,
I like to dangle it above the Funny little creature named sorrow.

Around my neck I keep a chain,
with little picture of family on it.
And I use it to mess with that little gremlin called hate.

I carry also just a small picture,
of some lady I'll never know.
I fold it into an airplane and let that wily lust chase it.

I carry a harmonica in my jacket,
even though I am not skilled.
And use it to SCREECH at that savage beast known as my aspirations.

Pinned to my shirt,
I carry a pin from HRC.
And poke that slithering thing called honesty.

Taped to my boot,
I carry a miniature tombstone.
And let the amphibian called friendship chew on it.

And In another pocket,
I have a flashlight.
And I always shine it right in the eyes of that squirming thing called fear.

I also to carry a Quran,
And use it quite consistently,
to silence love, and teach true hate.

Finally in my back pocket,
I have a the communist manifesto,
And I beat Trust and freedom to near death.

When I'm feeling broken, beat up or put down,
sad, lonely and had my soul tossed around.
I'm heartened to know I look up to see,
the same sky that you've placed your dreams.
You taught me lessons I know were true,
and made me feel so very close to you.
What you wrote touched me in a high degree,
I never realized what was lacking inside of me.
You taught me to sing of love not hate,
helped me to understand a child's loving state.
And I truly believe you, when you said,
You'd rather see earth from in a child's head.
You helped me float in my own fairy tale,
though I lived among people who lived life very stale.
So thank you little miss Aksnes, I love you in a way,
I don't know how to say it but you've molded my heart like clay.

And though we haven't been here long,
You have so much wisdom within your songs.
This earth needs you its always crying,
Its just been born, but its in danger of dying.
The words you wrote has made me think,
this language I write can be more than just ink.
I listen to you, and I picture valleys,
Even if I'm walking through run down alleys.


The fun I saw you having since day one,
made me for the first time realize, emotion can be sung.
You must have fallen down from the sky,
they don't talk about the star girl, and I don't know why.
And when I feel like crying because the world's in rough shape,
I know you'll be there to help me escape.

Your home is about one million miles from mine,
I think perhaps its helps your beautiful rhymes.
You took me to lands that do not exist,
but somehow turned my world into their wish.
Because of you I reflected,
on the side of me I'd rejected.
What you mean to me just cant be said,
I'm trying real hard but before I finish I'll be dead.

I was walking along the brook,
landed in one of them corn mazes from the books.
I started running,
started funning,
'till I gone and ran into a corn stalk,
I hit it so hard I forgot how to talk,
I could barely walk.
It don't matter,
just started going faster.
Well I found my way to the end,
but across the field I saw a radish bend.
Ah well, I guess its the weekend,
and Id rather run the radishes than come to an end.
And I ran,
oh yes I ran.
I ran here,
I ran there,
in the sky,
nearly trampled a guy...

Yeah he was yellin',
at me,
I said whats up.
And then he says this, he says:
I own these here radishes,
Go on ***, get outta mah FaRm.
Then, I dunno, I guess I was just really cool,
I was able to convince him, that this here, was my farm.
And that's the story of my farm.

The sun moves through the sky so quickly,
and you sit there and look, while the moon rises swiftly.
But the friend of the Gods, still can't call on the rain.
He cannot do a thing he couldn't even destroy young Cain.
A gun in the hand of a one eyed man,
destroys any dreams of the half minded lamb.
Removing so many of the mice you called men,
destroying the oath made from the princes demand.
Killing the things that desire only life,
to dress the rich men in clothes from the sacrificed.
Why evil men? Do you know what you've lost?
The trust of the people. Has this ever been worth the cost?
Luckily, this is all that's been told, we have to write the story.
We'll write it alone, correctly for us, write it in gold, and write our glory.

Walking on the water, running away,
from the golden calf that you built today.

Cannot sleep at night cause your sharing a bed,
while you spider conscience dies in its own web.

Things don't change, you know its not true,
the only thing that stays the same is hidden in you.

You seek out treasure and surely will find,
a treasure chest of truth buried underneath lies.

You seek out freedom cause its not in his eyes,
but its so far away is it worth your demise?

Wolves jumping up sprouting their wings,
and your on the ground thinking through things.

A golden horse approaches and asked for a ride,
you said hop on, and where do we fly.

We learn to walk on frozen toes,
but you cant learn any flowers except a rose.