loving you is

big city dreams

walking downtown with your arm around my waist

invincible

loving you is
missing my bus stop
not once
but twice
this week
(its only Tuesday)
because I'm too busy daydreaming
about the next time I might see you

loving you is
twisting my ankle
slipping on black ice
distracted
writing poems about the way you make me feel
(that just happened)

loving you is visiting all the places that you took me
hoping I might run into you

loving you is ordering old fashions from eric at bdubs just to have a taste of our last kiss

loving you is silly love poems
and sappy love songs
attempting to gather a group of words to explain what exactly it is that I'm feeling

loving you is reading the letters you wrote me all those years ago
over and over again

longing for a sign

that one day

you'll come back to me

i think when someone stops loving you
you can really already feel it
in the left side of your chest
but you prolong it
because you don't want to live without them

when we first met
you were full of self hatred
and drinking bottom shelf *****
i asked
why don't you get one that tastes better
and you said
it's better when it hurts a little

i don't think i could ever
un-love you
but i'm trying to learn
to love you differently

even though you don't love me
and maybe never did
i feel bad for you
more than anything
because you lost someone
who loved you more
than you could ever hate yourself