I’m proud of myself
I was genuine and authentic
I felt myself grow
And become
The person I wish to be
In my soul.

I reach
For my dreams
I create the seams
That thread
The separate pieces
Together.

Terribly
Terribly hot
“…No way…”
“…today was really…”
“..every day…”
“…she’s been acting so…”
The conversations
Blend and babble
Around me like
A brook and the bird-calls
In the mountain green
The leather seat
Sticks to my skin like glue
I bobble and bounce and I
ACK! Gosh **** turns!

clear your heart
and follow your mind
turn impossibilities
into things you can feel inside
clear your heart
and meet my eyes
even when your wings get heavy
you will find a way to fly

When the floating moment passes
Everything crashes down.
A second, a millisecond, a microsecond
It’s short and long and short once more.

Nobody expects the end.
But we know it is coming
Because it always does.

The wind whispers to me:

𝑔𝑜𝑜𝒹𝒷𝓎𝑒

i’m not a daughter
i’m a trigger
i’m not person
i’m a gun
every problem
i make bigger
reminds me i 𝘢𝘮 one

i’m not a daughter
i’m a trigger
i’m the stain on your white blouse
and everybody, everybody knows
i am the darkness in this house.

I don’t hate you.

I’m just reticent.

Reluctant to share where
This hesitation came from
But I swear I care,
I swear I care.

It doesn’t make sense,
This reticence is like barbed wire fence
Around my heart so when
You try to touch it h u r t s.

𝘐 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘐 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘐 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘐 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳-

If I dare
To let go
I release
My control
And I can’t
Be here alone
With volatile
Sticks and stones.

If I dare
To be free
Then I’ll have
No more of me
Because shackles cold
And leashes gold
Are better than
The days of old.

Stay caught up till June
I’ve made up my mind now it’s doom
Feeling scared and lost
Is it my life or my soul that it’ll cost
To be untangled
But I can’t let it stay mangled
I want to leave it now
Come back morrow noon
When it will be the first of the full moon
Of august the first
But by then the deal will be sealed
I will have new work and old pieces to sew
I will have fresh scars to heal
I’m not ready, I’m not confident it seems
This light in my eyes is dull it never beams
Lost to the tribe, lost to the ethics and conspiracies
Can’t find my way out even with different loopholes and currencies
Leaving away is not the same as being free
When I’m tethered  to this city
It’s by lanes and pity
Of what people will say
Will they watch me when I flay
Their concerns are disconcerting
They don’t have the right pieces of my heart
They are just pulling strings from my art.
Stuck in a loop again here we go
Another year of breakdowns and broken bones
Is there a way out my head is spinning
I want to get down of this merry go round
I want to move straight and not be caught up in life’s down turning.