An anxious person's life comes with a set of rules, a guidebook on how to survive that is  etched between the neurons of said person's brain.
Each day fits neatly into a schedule, clocked in by the second and placed firmly into a time slot that is fixed and immovable.
Each thought is churned and questioned before finally being spit out.
Each sentence is perfectly manufactured as it has been sent down an assembly line and thoroughly checked before being spoken.
Each situation is analyzed and placed into a pros and cons power struggle before being decided upon.

An anxious person in love is a difficult thing.
Love can't be placed into a box, can't be precise and planned and prepared for.
Love can't be controlled or put into an agenda, can't be narrowed down into a certain time frame or date range.
Love is bigger than any person can hold in their hand. Love can get away, slip through the cracks and get scattered and messy.
An anxious person does not like messy. It makes them anxious.

My heart pounds to the echo of your name,
my breath even with yours,
you are mine,
and i am yours,
unbreakable
untouchable
our bodies intertwined,
and for a moment,
we are *infinite

Do you love me?
Should I let myself fall
completely?
Partially?
Do  I even have a choice?

You are never home,
only in glimpses,
scarce instances that i live for.
those moments i cherish,
leaving me breathless,
making me certain in love,
but then you are gone.
and i am alone once again,
left to wonder,
were you really there?
or just a figment of my imagination?
like a beautiful dream,
that satisfies the brain
and fulfills the senses,
until morning,
when i awake to reality,
and the bed beside me empty.

you push me
you shove me,
past my breaking point.
until i hear the snap in my mind
feel the knives in my heart
feel the anger rip through me
and pour out of my eyes
leaving a trail of salt tears.
I loathe you
I fear you,
and you rage on.
making me bleed,
making me ache.
until i am gone
empty.
you have taken everything,
and given me nothing,
i am powerless.
*i am nothing

**** you mean more to me than words can explain, yet you put me through this pain, again and again.  

Here I am, just awaiting the day, waiting for you to say "I love you more than words can say"

Feels like I'll just keep waiting and even when it's tiring and I feel like giving in,

I'll still be here.

Cause I won't give up, I can't give in, this is worth more than just living,  

This is existing.

Breathing.

Everything.

Thats what you've been to me, what you are to me, what you'll always be.  

The existence of me.  

An extension of living,

And with every breath I breathe, I believe you are for me,

So...

I inhale with your name on my lips,
I exhale with your face on my mind.

And everytime I think of you, I imagine you think of me too.

So everyday I'm here patiently waiting and you're out there living,  

Remember my name,
Remember my face

This place,  
This existence of me.

And everytime I breathe, your love fills my lungs...

and if I die before you come....

**Remember I breathed my last breath with your name on my tongue.

I remember the you
That you used to be
Do you remember who
I was when I was me?
I forgot the truth
Of when you were true
I forget even more
Like when I was too

Do you remember?
That one late night?
You said you loved me
And it felt so right.
I believed you
Thought it couldn't be better
Then just you and me
In love and lust together
But you lied
I still don't know why
Then I cried
And you said goodbye

That was really me
The me that was with you
Now I'm damaged
I'm not sure what to do

That wasn't the real you
Not the man I knew
He wouldn't have left me broken
He was honest and true
What happened to you?

The truth?
You probably don't even know
You've always been confused
You don't even realize
**What happened to you....

Tell me when you look at me
do you see me for who I truly am?
Or do you   w i s h  
to see me for who you want me to be?

I am not all that you think I am.
What if one day
that comes    suddenly  
as    all    days    should.
You look at me and find
I am some one new.
Not
who you think I am.

I told you
shown    you    me.
Given you a piece of my soul.

You don't know me anymore?

That's because you never saw me.
Who I truly am.
For all I am to you has been your imagination.

I have always been,
never less
never more
never fake
never anyone
other then MYSELF