Visions rend me from my slumber in their bone-chilling talons,
freezing every drop of blood coursing through my veins.
The breath torn away from my lungs form a tortured scream that hangs thickly, mingling with the hazy moments between sleeping and awake.
Gasping for air, I fumble in the darkness for reality.
The murky panic passes and once again, I am alone in the dark.
Retreating back into the comfort of my bed I longingly seek the peace that enveloped me while you were here. Again tonight, my search is in vain.
As it will always be.
The past played out again in such painstaking detail.
Uniformed officer marching somberly to the door with the chaplain.
Bearing a neatly folded flag, dog tags shining brightly upon it.
And the letter.
The most dreaded letter.
I know what it says without reading a word.
I strain to hear their voices in the distance.
Regret to inform you...
Killed in action...
Our deepest sympathies.
Unable to gouge out the sight in my minds eye,
I feel the last shred of fortitude drain from my body
The images take root in every dismal corner of my mind.
Replaying over and over until I am numb.
A cigarette to calm my nerves. A sigh of momentary relief.
I think I will just stay awake tomorrow night.