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Nikki Pingrey Apr 2016
Keep pushing on.
One step forward,
two steps back.
Ignore the stench of your decaying dreams
as they lay in shambles at your feet.
Rip open the self-inflicted wounds and drain the bad blood.
The pain crashes outward like a tidal wave.
Turn your blind eyes towards the heavens and curse your creator.
Bringer of anguish and sorrow
Father of insanity
****** of the masses
Crutch of the weak
**** the omnipotent legend.
No one can help you now.
Nikki Pingrey Apr 2016
The inevitable silence fills every thought.
Anguish oozes from each pore in my body.
Torment lays thick and heavy on every breath.
Death is making his way through the mortal realm to place his icy grip on my life.
To **** a part of me, but leave enough so that he may strike again.
Tedious pain courses through my body, gnashing it's teeth on already frayed nerves.
Hell is here and now, cleverly disguised as just another step in the process of life.
I have seen the demons behind the masks.
Their hateful eyes burn like the hell fires that now replace my once loving heart.
Nikki Pingrey Mar 2016
The sands of time remain in constant motion.
Slipping away like a thief in the night,
with the moments I swore would last forever.
The wheel of fortune spins faster and out of control.
The tighter I cling to it, the more rapidly it drains away.
Surrender is the only option.
I will slip and swirl with the monstrous current of change
like a rag doll in a hurricane.
  Mar 2016 Nikki Pingrey
It doesn’t happen all at once
it happens slowly
like a flood
water rising cautiously
a quiet rebellion
spilling over enemy lines with a vengeance
minute by minute, you feel it
the gravitational pull on your body
moving you further and further apart
your mother says that you will
find your way back to him,
but you are not so sure
it does not happen all at once
it happens like the
continents drifting apart
a few centimeters per year
it happens so slowly
you can’t even see it
until it is too late
until the love waltzing in the ball
room of your chest goes quiet
and everyone stops dancing
he grabs your hand and asks you
to go someplace quiet
you don’t go with him
you stay silent
your heart is a still drum
he takes your pulse with his teeth
tells you he doesn’t
how you could change your mind
so suddenly
it doesn’t happen all at once
remember that, even when he
tries to convince you that things
were fine the day before
tell him that the earth is moving
microscopic distances as you speak
that neither of you are in the same
place that you were
Lay perfectly still
and wait until the bass makes your face vibrate.
Mindfolds on in perfect darkness
feel the music start to bring you solace.
Body goes numb and with it the mind
sleep paralysis sets in try not to fight it.

Hallucinations so vivid,
a reality so lucid.
Let it overwhelm you or run the risk of losing it.
Get lost in a dream of your own design
carefully constructed behind your eyes.
Its a tall task if you want to build your own city,
Or feel the emptiness of space and experience infinity.
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