he'll call you pretty
he'll capture you with the sparkle of his brown eyes
and melodic laugh that'll ring in your ears for days
after the moment passed

things will escalate
your heart will race each time you hear his name
you'll admit to liking him
he'll say he feels the same

his lips will taste like honey
you'll love the taste, it'll be your  new favourite flavour
but honey gets too sickly when you eat too much

he'll call you good girl
then you'll realise,
you're not the only one who's been eating honey.

Dear Damian

I miss you

I dreamt you cried in my arms
And asked that I take you back
And then we kissed
And I don't know what to do
With these stupid emotions

in and out
you look at me
like a circus clown
losing your teeth
biting on all
that candy

i could be next to you
but i still can't get
the rest of you
you don't like the sound of it
and i don't like the feeling

around and around
i'm sure by when autumn comes
you'll follow the sun back home

and i'm stuck with
my leaves changing colors

i may be the first
of the others

he takes one more gulp
finishing the bottle
whiskey dripping from his lips
he looks at you
you are frozen
as he drunkenly stands up
he sharply wipes his upper lip
and then licks them
your eyes look left
and then right
searching for your younger sister
thankfully
she is nowhere to be seen
as the home you shared
was now unsafe
you don’t move
as he takes a step toward you
paralyzed under his watch
you start to sweat
he swears under his breath
and you are beyond nervous now
you hear his belt unbuckle
before you see it drop to the floor
your mind tells you to run
but your feet do not move
his eyes squint at you
as he says, “don’t you think it’s past your bedtime?”
and you silently sit still
praying to God that he will turn around
he does not
in fact, he starts moving in your direction
faster now
and you squirm in your seat
afraid of what comes next
you look into his black, soulless eyes
hoping he will see your innocence
he does not
his zipper is now undone
and his grimy fingers
roughly jerking at your skirt
you are afraid
but the numbness sets in
and your eyes become heavy

Hold on to yourself
Nothing is as it seems
You simply can´t tell
What goes on behind the scenes

Hold on to someone
Who doesn't bring you down
and alone in front of everyone
Looking like a clown

I can't say I understand
No one really does
Let´s live in a dreamland
And break all the laws

Hold on to yourself
Don´t feel pressured to transform
You can't always tell
When your whole soul is gone

2. November 2017

Cold hail
Along my trail.
Cold air
Along my hair.

It hasn't been so cold.
Temperature hasn't been so low.
Atmosphere hasn't been so chilly.
I haven't been so happy.

Cold dances
With my glance
A glance, cold as ice
With love and spice.

"So much for playing it cool."
As he rolls down the stairs into the street, ****** his pants, and pukes in the gutter.
"What is a gutter? Seems like the whole world these days."