....
...
..
.
--The waters swells around him, drowning him in panic as it rushes into his mouth. He can't breath. Insecurity sets in as the shame descends into his lungs. The sea swallows him whole.

One bite.

down; down; down,

into the cavern below.
....
...
..
.

....
...
..
.

--And there he lays on the  ocean floor. Surround by all his misgivings and uncertainties. Jagged rocks like daggers in his back. They whisper a malicious sirens song.

"Rest," They sing a sweet love song.
"Rest and all will be well again."
All the while, he continues to bleed.

....
...
..
.

It will eat you alive
and will leave nothing behind...

I believe in the words that never past my lips.
Things- I wish I had the courage to say.
I believe in the beating, beating, beating of your steady heart.
The pain I went through, just to taste the salt of your flesh.

What a mistake.

I believe in yesterday and the day before.
I also believe your pride,
was the one in the way.

My death.
I felt it over and over, twice more...
You- you, sir... the one who walked away.
The one who stood watching
as I dissipated into the darkness below.

I believe in today, the motion of moving forward.
A single good day, for it not to be okay.

I'm gone, ash melted into the earth.
I have died so many times,
felt each death from the strength in your hands.

I've believed in yesterday and tomorrows morrow.
I've believed in you and the beating of ones heart.
I've believed in my death as the rock bashed my head.

Never have I merely believed
I could survive and come out alive...
No wounds, no bruise.
Just a healthy smile.

I stand here now on the precipice of today and tomorrow.
The out come may be inevitable,
but I stand in the here and now.

The one who is standing-up tall and proud.

It’s easy to lie to yourself when you’re so debilitated. It something to come to terms with; to turn a half-truth into a reality.

I'm falling off that ten foot pole...
A world of difference separating us through the positive space between our two bodies.

I'm hearing the words you are trying to say but the sounds are barley coming through the negativity surrounding you. I would fall (as I am now.) die; even take a fetal wound for you. But would you do the same for me?

I need you like the oceans needs the moon, unlike anything new. Rising my waters above the rocks to only draw away, leaving me drowning out in my empty stone bed.

A rudimentary principle, a never ending cycle. A daunting reminder: I'm the one left diminishing and tumbling towards my fated decent into Purgatory.

There's a ghost in my house.
Rattling handles on every door.

Throwing stones through the windows.
Sending shards to the floor.

The front door opens,
I'm escaping out the back.

The walls run red.
Striped in my ****** sins.

I cry... "Ghost... A ghost, in my house,
a haunted memory in sheets of white."

But I'm told, it's all in my head.
Given an oval pill to wash it away.

Lying in bed,
the moans and groans
start again.

I have a ghost in my house.
Not a figment of my imagination.

A ghost who rattles handles
into the dead of night.  

A ghost of white sheets
and fading memories.

A ghost
of my past offenses and greed.

With a press of a button, the sound ceases to a stop and silence ensues.

It's beautiful underneath.
This place where I can not breathe.
Water fills my lungs and I cry from the glory of it.
A free-floating, blue vision playing through my body.
The waves constructed a symphony of motions,
with my heart being the leading instrument.
My vision dims with the fading adagio end tempo.  
It's beautiful underneath.
This place where I can not breathe.
It's beautiful...
Beautiful.
Beau...
...
..
.

She's Broken.

Time.
A
fickle
thing,
indeed.

Neither here
Nor there.

But
somewhere
always
in
between.

Believe
There is
Good**
left-over
in our crazy
world.

Even through my flooding gates of pain.
I could still appreciate how unbelievable green his eyes truly are.

You've taken my soul.
Cut it from the seams.
An empty vessel,
Floating on a stream.

I knew one day, I would have to grow up mentally and physically. With each hour of every day growing steadily nearer to the time, I would be consider an actual adult. I was suddenly stuck by a great thought. That thought, grew into an superb idea, which sprouted into something I could grow upon. A foundation to live off.

To be not as a child nor an adult.
For I am me.
Neither but both, entirely.

At first if you don't succeed...
Well that *****,
because that would never be me.

Looking back, in hindsight, without my rose tinted glasses.
I could see all the red flags I've missed from the start.