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Philip V Jul 2018
Needles?
They don't cut
They only leave a sting

For about a moment there
I was content meeting
The chills

And so,
What dies will soon
Become what is known
As the pain that separates
The heart from the soul

It's a pain that doesn't
Understand why it's there
Never have I loved so much
And never did you care.
the soul is forever. and ever.
Philip V Jul 2018
I'm not a mathematician
But I know how to divide
And subtract
I saw you subtract your heart
From this chamber
Leaving apathy
To count in its absence

Not to say I wasn't to blame
But the numbers don't add up
And the scars don't match the wounds
Now I'm left being
A fraction of the sum
The value that came
Undone.

A common denominator
- Excuse the bad pun -
Wasn't fear of loneliness
Supposing we only made love
To warm ourselves
Is a distortion of the truth
In spite of what we said
If those words had no substance
Then I might as well have
Fallen into a different
Destruction

I'm not sorry
And I would want you to know
That not everything is squared
By you feeling brand-new
- Thinking I was old news -

I don't need to tell you
A fraction of the sum
Still has a beating heart
It's just not the same
As it once was.
pretensions will lure you into a false sense of peace.
if you let them.
Philip V Jul 2018
When the sun sets a few hours later
When your garden blossoms in sun
That's when you know
The season of loss has finally come

Prolonged by the body's resistance
Sunglasses slide and prove tears
You lost someone during winterfall
Now spring-cleaning throws you out
To newborn raincrumbs

In theory,
spring is but a transition between snow and beach
A deprecated definition without any shade
For us romantics, it was never so vague
But a cool-aired love story
That ended in May

I can't tell you I loved you, or that it was important in my life
I was broken and sentenced to leave before April was done
But two years later, I find myself in a state of certainty
Spring is here
And it's wiped me dry
Thank you for reading.
Philip V Jul 2018
I'm in Japan
With a
Cherry blossomed
Heart
And a sake
Breath

I see her every day
We talk
Sometimes
Most times

After

I find myself
Daydreaming
In high-corporate
Smoking rooms
And on
Tangerine rooftops
Looking at signs that
I can't read

Maybe

I can't read her signs
Speaking
Smiling
And waving too
I'm caught up in a ******
Lost in translation-cliche
But I'm not really
Bill Murray

I'm just whatever
The day paints me as
In love
With a girl
That takes too much
Color from
My palette
And paints herself
As foreign as this sun

As beautiful as she
Knows
She
Is
Going away for a while.
Philip V Jul 2018
Blink twice for yes
Once for no
Tell me
Did you ever stop
and think
You wanted more?

From this life you call
The big
Aluminum door
Not letting anyone through
Doesn't make it easier
To walk the floor

It's not like your parents
Are dead
Yet you haven't called them
Mom
And Dad
Since you were 10

You were always busy
But only in your head
The rest of the world
Missed you
They called and left you
Blind voicemails

This is Kathy and this is John
We were worried about you
Dear
Disappear
Don't call
Don't invite yourself

It's not the choice I made
It wasn't an offer
It's not agreeable
It's pathetic and
Inescapable

I don't paint vanilla skies
And cherry blossoms
I don't ask about the weather
Or even your grandson
I don't even ask about myself
Maybe I should

Maybe I should.
It's strange to not feel happiness for years. It's simply, strange.
Philip V Jul 2018
There is a feeling of loneliness
Because you wanted it
You dreamed it and wanted to
Feel what it’d be like to lose
Everything

But you had everything
And nothing was taken
And nothing could be given
Back

Now you’re older
Dumber and uglier
And you have the tongue to ask
Where did I go wrong?

It isn’t what you didn’t do
It’s what you thought you needed
To be you

But now it’s over
And you can’t go home
Wash out your eyes little boy
You blew it all
On a selfish thought
Philip V Jul 2018
Don't go in there
Said he
Not yet

And so the man waited
By the door
Where the voice was

Why did you not believe in me?
Asked the voice, as a formality
And the man looked at his own *****, sinful hands

How could I believe?
Said the man
And the voice looked up from the newspaper

You took Max away
You took both of them away
And you took me away,
Now
Would you believe?
If I took your son?

But you already did
Said he, as a reminder
And the angels chuckled in a choir

And now
Spoke the man
You ask me to believe, when I still cannot see you?

And the voice wanted to show itself
But there was no faith
There remained only a tired and restless soul
That didn’t want answers
It never required answers
It only wanted
Max
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