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Philomena Dec 2020
"I'm always ******' up and wreckin’ ****
It seems like I perfected it
I offer you my love
I hope you take it like some medicine
Tell me ain’t nobody better than me
I think that there's better than me
Hope you see the better in me
Always end up betterin’ me

I don't wanna ruin this one
This type of love don't always come and go"
Philomena Nov 2020
"Hate me, hate me, tell me how you hate me
Tell me how I'm trash and you could easily replace me
Tell me that I'm strung out, wasted on the daily
Prolly 'cause there's no one around me numbin' all my pain
Prolly 'cause there's no umbrella to shield me from all the rain
Probably because you're the one playin' the mind games
You hate me because I don't let you play no mind games
They give me migraines and damage my brain
Date me, break me, easily replace me
Hopefully you see it clear, hopefully it's HD
Bet you wonder why the last few months I've been spacey
In your head, I sing"
Philomena Oct 2020
I cant sleep
But if I lay very still
And close my eyes
I wont have to look upon the horror of my mind
Philomena Jul 2020
Each day is the same.
Wake up, set the binary coordinates, wait.
Pour over the data but nothing breaks through.
Something about this storms ionic charge dilates signal strength.
I've recounted the rations.
There's time for one more shot.
I see her face.
Sometimes it's as clear as day.
Others, it's lost in the void.
I will find my way back to you.
That was my promise.
Philomena Jul 2020
All this emptiness inside
I can't fill the void in my mind
Sometimes I just wanna die
Wish that I could tell you why
Is it all inside my head?
I just can't escape the noise
Is it all inside my head?
I think I'm paranoid
Philomena Jul 2020
You've heard it before
Most likely from a small child
"When I grow up"
And from the perspective of a child that statement is full of hope
It's the ultimate goal
It's their own personal victory

But one day you look at yourself
And you realize you have grown up
And maybe you're lucky and you've achieved your goals
But for most maybe you never did

Maybe you tried and gave it all you had
Only to feel left out in the cold
Maybe you changed your mind
Of maybe you just grew old
Philomena Jun 2020
She grabs her by the neck
And I can see it unfold
She never stood a chance
Her body slams to the ground
She gasps upon impact
Blood running from her mouth red as her hair

She reaches up
Unclear if as an act of pleading or anger
But a figure dressed dark as night rips her off the ground
Only to slam her down again

This time she lets out an unearthly moan
She spits blood onto the pavement
It glistens in the sun
A puddle of color against the blacktop

The figure grabs her again and drags her by her hair
Her lips quivering
She puts her arms below her
And as she pushes to lift herself up another blow
The dark figure kicks her in the side of the head
She falls to the ground
A sharp kick in the rips and she spits blood once again

She looks up pleading with her eyes
Scrapes cover her face with streaks of red
The tears are streaming down but she does not cry out
Another blow to the ribs and she doubles down
Using her hands over her head she attempts to protect herself

Finally relenting the dark figure stops the kicking
She lay broken and quivering unable to face it
It begins to scream
And when she turns away it grabs her face to face the lingual horrors

When I see her face next it's only a glance
But her eyes seem empty now
Glazed over and lifeless
The figure picks her up again

She makes no sound this time as she hits the ground
For a moment it seems as though she will try to rise up
The figure stands over her watching
But she doesn't move
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