Funny how I turned out just like you
I know mom says it enough
"You're just like your father."

I wish things could have been different
That you could have loved me right
Like how you used to

I don't know what changed that
Was is my budding sexuality
Or my increasing sorrow

You find happiness in a bottle
But I believe happiness cant be bought bottled canned or packaged
Only found within us

And I wish you would figure that out
That if you opened your eyes and took a look around
We all try to make you proud

Because I am a daddy's girl
Always have been
Always will be

It's just a shame you cant find a way to approach me
To love me
Because I love you regardless of whats happened

Which is more powerful love or hate?
Sounds tricky doesn't it?
With no answer as straight,
And no side easy to commit.

Love is powerful no doubt.
Makes your heart flutter,
Leaves you dancing about.
However love also leave your mind full of clutter.

Yet hate is so strong.
It demands respect,
Can power you along.
You just cant let it run out of check.

But maybe love and hate are on a coin, just two sides.
Both so passionate and raw, yet its us it divides.

I once told a man
"I could never make things okay in life, but they're going to be okay now"
Then I cut skin from skin
And I waited to die

Waiting to die is a funny thing
Its like the waiting room at the doctors office
Time slows down
And you're left inside your own head
Mind begins to wander
And no matter what you think see or feel you're brought back to it
Why you are in this spot right here right now
Which for me was bleeding out in blue star wars bed sheets
Not quite a waiting room

They say when you want to die to call someone
So I called him
He was drunk and ******
And he told me to *******
So I did
I ended the call and ended my strain of consciousness
Few more cuts and blacked out

Now I know you're wondering
And no I didn't die
Turns out I'm terrible at dying
Who knew right

But it's been a year and a half since that night
And it's finally okay

Funny thing when you realize you don't have any real following
Mom has always wanted me to have more friends
But shes critical of the ones I have
So I've gotten used to silence  
Sleepovers for one
And emptiness
I thought
You know
That it would be
Different here, unlike at home
But I'm still without anyone really
So I type my words into a screen and just hope
Hope maybe somewhere out there is the friend I need

Hold me close
Like I mean the most
And whisper a broken lullaby.

With shards of glass
And cigarette ash
And a pain I've grown to call home.

Let me sleep under the moon
And hope help is coming soon
And forget all that I know.

And i'll try to cry
But dry my eyes
And let it come to an end.

Because love is pain
And there's nothing to gain
From a house that's not a home.

So brush my hair
And pretend to care
And let me fade away.

Because i'm sick and *****
And tired of hurting
So please let me fall asleep.

And once i'm gone
You'll have to move on
I'll see you another day.

We were strong
But the world was stronger

The Earth can send violent storms
Massive waves
And unhinged ground
And it changes the landscape forever
Never to return to before

That's where we are  
You saw the storm of my hate
Felt the waves of my sadness
And the tremors of my soul as it broke
And now here we stand
On a new decimated land
And we can never go back to before

You are so very far away,
But in your arms is where I want to stay.

So ******* a butterfly kiss,
And know you are missed.

No matter the distance my heart beats for you,
Its beats loud long and especially true