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  Jul 2019 Luna D
Quetta Rose
powder in her nose,
drink in hand.
head in a faraway land,
tears in her eyes.
Memories of mumbled goodbyes,
heart beats in and out of sync.
Relapse with the beat,
game with her feet.
wispy black hair and loose limps,
forgetting everything except the feel of her body,
losing control.
how could she fall so surely to her rock bottom,
when she was with him she was higher than a kite.
so why must she say good bye to that high,
  Jul 2019 Luna D
Cole Maxwell
Gravity seems to cease in mid air,
Time began to rewind like the VHS tapes we used to peruse.
Lost to the hopelessness of remembering all that was spoken,
Still trying to grasp what I was destined to lose,
Hungry for that which will fill the emptiness,
Clandestine decisions create all the rules.
A black hole type of control,
I went maniacal and shortly afterward became betrothed; enthroned though alone.
The bigger picture will soon unfold,
That night on the country road,
Driving the whip-it was an evening so cold.
Fairy Tales told in the fool's forest sparked
Demons perverse and sordid.
Fight or flight was being sorted,
The plight was horrid, closely courted,
Shield and sword defended horror.
Pretend to mend the chip on your shoulder,
Put up those walls around your border.
In short, the more you fake your disposition,
The closer your back gets to the corner.
Tire tracks in the grass led to the tree line,
Screams transcended smoke and steel,
Like hot steam rising from a forsaken teapot.
I wish facts weren't so ossified,
Because the force behind discourse and pride
Is hacked, controlled, and lost to time.
But truth remains in purest rhyme.
  Jul 2019 Luna D
alexis hill
today

I sat very still

the kind where you can almost hear the silence. I could feel my heart alive in my chest. beating.

walk on. walk on. walk on.

it wasn’t easy
I had to crawl to get here.

a lot of time spent tip toeing
through easily depressing situations

I don’t do well with emotional upsets
slit wrists
like please don’t hurt me
palms curled to a fist

but I couldn’t seem to
escape
his body weight

some things you just can’t
undo

unlike a knot tied
and pulled tightly
straight like a line
testing for sobriety

I AM NOT
linear

but you are

just like how you
think the past
shouldn’t
bother
me

and how recovery
should be me
getting over
it all

can you really call
yourself a professional
if you have never
walked the line?

so.

please- try mine.
life side.
Luna D Oct 2018
Come touch my soul
Cut me open
Break my ribs with your bare hands
Pure strength
Hold my heart
Feel it pulsing, beating, in your hands
Feel the blood trickle past your fingers
Do you like the way my eyes stare up at you?
My blue and lifeless eyes
The windows into my mind
Do you feel better now?
You finally have all my heart
But look what you had to do
Keep it forever
Leave me here to rot
Leave me here to become one with the earth
I dont need my heart anymore.
I hope you’re satisfied with me now
I’m the perfect dead girl
I’m your perfect dead girl
Luna D Oct 2018
You can leave the life
But the life wont leave you
Its talons are hooked into your chest
You’re reminded of the pain
Every-time you breathe
And i know it hurts
Youre scared.
That life you left behind
That you clawed your way out of
You dont want to fall back in
I tell you that you never talk to me
But the more i sit here and think
The more i realize that you did
But my ears were closed
Only wanting to open if you were blunt
But thats not you and ive been so deaf
Your wounds were never hidden
Your scars never covered up
I see it now
How can i not?
Im quick to jump
and quick to push away
And i never once thought to just keep my feet on the ground
To just hold tight to what ive had
In a perfect world i’d have thought
In a perfect world you wouldnt know the pain
That comes with an empty stomach.
And you wouldnt be craving the thing thats going to destroy us
But im your rock.
Your reason for living
And i meant it when i said i shouldnt be
I shouldnt be
Im on my own downward spiral
What if i cant hold us both up?
Were going through our own same ****
Breaking our bones to try
And fit in the boxes we made for each other.
Everything i said was the truth
My love for you is unlike any other
Im breaking my bones with a smile on my face
And tears in my eyes
We have to break to get stronger
To be better
And when i look up at you
I see the universe in your eyes
And i feel it deep in my soul
It surrounds us
Swirling around our bodies
Like nicotine smoke
when the sun is sleeping
I feel the pain in your marrow
I see it dripping out onto the floor
Nose bleeding and hands shaking
Ive been so focused on me
Me me me
Always me
Never you
And we have the same problem
Do you see it too
We cant escape
Promising to not hit each other
But look at us now
Bruises decorate our bodies
When i told you i liked it rough
I didn’t mean emotionally
And look at me now
Making it about me again
Maybe i wasnt there when they gave the lesson on how not to be a narcissist.
How not to be selfish
How to ******* open my ears and rip open my eyes
Its taken me such a long time to see your struggles and now that ive seen them
Im scared to leave you
Not walk away from you, from us
But the road im on has me walking towards death himself
And time and unforeseen occurrences befall us all
Ecclesiastes 9:11
If i died tomorrow how would you live?
I worry about that
Im not immortal
and im not going to make it into paradise
I hope you find peace within yourself
I hope you find comfort in my arms while it lasts
I told you last night to look at where you are now
No longer in the hood
No longer in the game
No longer with that pain
Look how far you come
You’re not alone anymore
You have us.
And were not going anywhere
I need you to remember that
When the pain comes back to haunt you
When i get mad and walk out of the room
When the memories flash across your eyes
Remember that.
Put your faith in my promises that i made you in the kitchen
Put your faith in those lyrics that you relate too so much
And when the day comes that my heart is no longer beating
Put your faith in my undying love and stay strong
Don’t fall back into that life you left
Don’t be scared.
I meant it when i said i’d never leave you.
Not even in death.
Luna D Oct 2018
Stair sitting
Star gazing
Deep in thought
Galaxies in my eyes
Glass in my nose
Ill never stop loving the stars up above
Ill never stop loving the way it burns
Ive got angels in my veins
And demons in my soul
Im really not for one addiction
But the world is always spinning
So why cant i?
Its just a little i say
Its only for a day
Or 2 or 3
Maybe more
Its easy to walk away
But hard to stay gone
Im made from star dust and bad decisions
So when the devil himself comes in crystal disguise
Im pulled into it’s fiery hell once again
And *******! Does it feel so good
Im falling in love and i dont want to stop
Take my hand
Take my money
Lead me on the path to heaven
Lead me on the path of self destruction
Set my soul on fire
Send my mind racing
Ice cold thoughts
Climbing and diving on the monster
Only when i finally come down
Are there whispers in my ears
Is this really all worth it?
What if you die in the crash?
Bruised knees and scraped elbows
The whispers come back
Another question appears
What if the ride is worth it?
What if setting foot on the blatantly treacherous path is the best part?
What if the fun is in the climb?
Im drowning in the swamp of self pity
And sinking in the quicksand for a fractured psyche
But For the first time in a long time it all seems worth it
The stars have never looked as beautiful as they do
Than when im speeding through my thoughts
And ive never felt as close to heaven as i do
Than when im making love to the devil
I know i’m selling my soul.
Signing my death certificate
And i see his struggles,
The way it destroys him
But i cant bring myself to walk away from it
Not again.
Im hand in hand with my crystal clear knight
Married to the drug
Til death do us part.
  Oct 2018 Luna D
Myrrdin
Someone asked me what it was like doing speed
If you're wondering, it was a lot like love
I loved it the way some people love playing guitar
The way some people love their mothers
The way some people love their God
I used it to express myself, to unleash my creativity
I used it to find solace and comfort, to make me feel all better
To put a bandaid on my scraped knee and tell me to keep trying
I used it so I would have something to believe in
Something better than what I was, something that believed in me too
I loved the way it made me to soar to new heights
I always forgave it when I crashed down to new lows
I loved the way it took my fear away of talking to strangers
I forgave it when I became afraid of people who weren't even there
I loved the way I made love so confidently when I was on it
I forgave it when I had to go to bed with strangers just to afford it
I loved the way it made me love myself again
I forgave it when I couldn't recognize myself anymore
Yes, I think it was a lot like love
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