Heretofore I hadn't dared cross paths
With the snare of a trap near my core.
There was no wrath for the mistake I made
And the lore I gave for the way the floor gave
Beneath me entangled itself with guilt and behold: rage.
At this stage in the story I hadn't been held accountable or said I'm sorry,
And the secrets remain engraved in the stone
Hidden away in the closet with the rest of the skeletons I made.
Bone chilling truth makes its way to the surface and
I’m struggling, it’s hurts.
And I can't find the words to
Explain how the urge to implode keeps knocking on the window,
I can see the silhouette beyond the curtains.
Where do I start? Oh, the circus.
Scatterbrained, thoughts falling like ***** from the juggling act.
In fact all I need is the makeup for my clown mask,
But I can't hide it any longer,
Like a meteor falling,
The agonizing force of guilt has made its impact,
And my world is shaken with its calling.
Headlights appeared just behind the truck,
The voices calling,
I'm alright I know but what about this truck,
What have I done? I'm stalling.
Cops arrive, paramedics, they're checking my vitals,
But they're not gonna see the words of truth
Unless I recite em.
Son, I can tell you're sober what happened?
Are you shaken? I don't doubt it.
I don't know officer it was too quick to be exact about it.
But if you go look in the woods you'll see where I threw the answer
So I wouldn't have it around me when you asked about it.
Hope you don't plan on walking any further than we're standing.
I can't afford for you to exploit me,
You got a phone that you could hand me?
I need to stall you like the truck, but without the bad luck, hope it works,
Just get in your car and let the paramedics do their work.
It's been 4 years now and I'm feeling like a **** more and more.
Everyday I'm growing towards going berserk.
Cause I'm a ****** coward,
I can't even write this down properly,
Still leaving truths vague or not even addressing them entirely.
If you see this you know who you are,
I lied to you, cried to you, man I'm a ****** coward.
Don't look down on me when you see the truth,
I'll tell you face to face one day, just hope it ain't too late to do it.
Please don't hate me dude,
It was a mistake, I didn't mean to do it.
If I could take it all back,
Then right now I wouldn't need to do it.