Stay with me tonight
Lying down on the sand
While waves come and go
And the evening winds blow
The moon looking bright
And the stars blanketing the sky
The bonfire crackling slowly
Bringing warmth to our bodies
While you and I remain
Tangled in an embrace
Stealing kisses in between
You within my loving arms
Looking so precious to me
With your eyes twinkling
From the light of the dancing fires
And as you look up
It reflects the vast starry sky
Like a window to another plane
Another universe within you
It gets my mind thinking
How I want to know
Every single fact about you
Every single truth you know
And how I came to fall for you

I want you
To stay in my embrace
To kiss me gently
As I crave for more of you
In a cool tropical night
Drunk with each other's desire
Like its our last night together
Drowned in your beauty
Which turns me into a beast
As the night grows torrid
And my brain feels melted
From being touched by you
I want my every day
And every night
In this place
And at this time
With no worries
Just with you
Just like this
For the rest of our lives

I pulled it..

I pulled the trigger
Of the gun pointed at my head
The bullet racing each millisecond
To blow my brain to smithereens
With my whole life flashing before
My bloodshot, insane eyes
Reliving each moment of this
****** up excuse of a life

There it was
That stinging depression
That started small
And grew in my weary heart
Slowly eating me each day
Growing darker and more sinister
As each problem came
Tearing my sanity away

Leading me to this very moment
Where I choose to run away
And leave this mediocre life
To rot and decay on its own
To be finally in peace
So that all that loneliness
Won't ever touch my heart
And will be free from my soul

And yet..

I began to remember the love
My family and friends gave me
How they stayed by my side
Never abandoning me
As I was loosing hope
They held on to me
Tried to keep me sane
Supporting me through it all

How cowardly of me
To suddenly let them go
To throw away this one and only
Life given and lived by me
But I guess its for the best
I guess its time to rest
I'll never see them again
They'll just forget me anyway

..Will they?

The happy moments came flashing by
The many times I genuinely smiled
Truly laughed and felt at ease
Those moments sweet to cherish
Was I this happy before?
Before everything else came crumbling?
Before I succumbed to the voices in my head?
Before I ended up at this very moment?

I don't want this..

Last moments of feeling the regret
I don't want to end this life
I just wanted to regain the happiness
The happiness taken and removed
By this consuming condition
This unforgiving depression
That ills my every cell
And has now completely taken all of me

I could've just lived my life
But no, I took it on my own
In any moment now I'll leave this world
Never to be seen again
No more new opportunities
To better my life and move on
To fight this psychological battle
That has taken hold of my entirety

And then it hit me..

I DIDN'T WANT TO DIE!
I DIDN'T WANT TO **** MYSELF
HOW DID I END UP IN THIS SITUATION?!
SOMEONE SAVE ME!
ITS COMING FOR ME!
THE SMELL OF GUNPOWDER ENTERING MY NOSTRILS
IT SCARES ME!
****! WHAT DO I DO?!
THE BULLET NEARING MY SKULL
I CAN HEAR IT CLOSING IN!
SAVE ME PLEASE!
I DON'T WANT TO DIE YET!
I WANNA LIVE!!

The pain stings..

My head feels light
My consciousness fleeting
As I fall to the ground
I could see the massive bleeding
I can't hear a thing
The silence is deafening
My vision went black
And then everything just went
Blank

...

..I shouldn't have pulled it

Wake up the dormant emotions
That sleep within my tired soul
Stir these feelings long dead
Let me desire you with wanton lust

Your heavy breathing fill my lungs
As you embrace me with sweet warmth
While the night grows colder by the minute
Make me adore you, make me want you more

Let me dive further and deeper
In those eyes deprived of innocence
Fill the empty bedsheets
Of this cold and lonely bed

Ease my fears of solitude
With those gentle and sacred kisses
As my hands trace every inch you
And my heart fixated on all of you

Don't leave me just for tonight
Since I fear I'm dying inside
Erase these hints of depression
That latched themselves on me

Hold me close and don't let go
Let me drown in your presence
Sink me deep into your pleasure
Leave me addicted to your body

Wake me up alive
And make me breathe heavily
Like making love to you
Is the last thing I'll ever do

Don't let me forget
And don't make me regret
How you roll on my bed every night
And rearranging my life upside down

Let me make love to you tonight
As soon as the sun sets down the horizon
Feed my growing lust for you every night
Until dawn breaks and morning comes again

Trivial things
That make heartbeats sting
That break emotional barriers
And open pathways
To the one who holds
You by her hand
And makes living this life
Fun and exciting

Small things
That create meaningful impacts
That reveal what is hidden
That symbolize affections
Neutralizing negativity
And showing real sincerity
In front of the girl
That turns your world around

Beautiful things
That represent the sweet
Yet thorny twists
Of what real love is
And that through the thicks
And through the thins of life
Total Love and Devotion
Defies all odds and obstacles

You come and you go
Leaving and then returning
Like the wild, free wind

You comfort my heart
Then take it away with you
Like a thief at night

I can't remember the last time
I felt the sunlight kissed my cheeks
Feel the wind whisper in my ears
Breathe sweet fresh air in my lungs
Bask in the glory of the sunlight
And feel its warmth and light
Its rays that nurtures my life
And its warmth caressing my soul

I've been caged and left alone
Imprisoned in the cold depression
Left hopeless and chained to anxieties
To wallow in loneliness detached from reality
The weight of sadness impossible to bear
The isolation eating away all my sanity
Save me from this dreaded fate
Remove my curse and free me

Looking far out from this cell
Into the horizon beyond my reach
There you were, a small drop of sunlight
Glistening in the meadows
Prancing happily through the hills
As carefree as the howling winds
A bright and cheerful light
Which made me felt at ease

Every day you passed by
Unknowingly shining your rays on me
Infecting me with your jolly personality
Bringing hope to the hopeless me
Every day you set as well
Leaving me to the freezing night
But even the cold punishing winds
Can't take away the warm hope you left me with

It gave me the courage to take a leap
Break all my chains and destroy my walls
To stand up at the highest point of this life
And let gravity take hold of me completely
As I start to take that once in a lifetime chance
To fly to you and reach the heaven where you reside
Armed only with mustered up courage
And strengthened will

Heartbeats racing wildly
Reaching for that warm, bright place
The place beside your presence
Hidden in that highest heaven
But as I got too close
Both courage and will melted away
And instead of falling in your arms
I plunged back to that unforgiving reality

I guess I'm never meant for the warmth
That only emanates from your soul
I guess I tempted the Fates too much
They had to cut that thread which led to you
And as I plunged hard into the sea of despair
I could only look at you from afar
While I sink back to this morbid reality
That I shouldn't want what I could never have.

I once surrounded myself
With emotional walls and checks
Hiding behind my insecurities
Shielding myself from all responsibility

It came to a point when
It grew completely out of control
It left me isolated in my own world
It left me disconnected from reality

But then you came
You
Who went in with a wrecking ball
Smashing all those stone and iron walls
Peeling layer by layer of me
Leaving me exposed to vulnerability

For the first time in my life
A whole new world opened for me
You took my hand by surprise
And led me out of my cage
You removed all my shackles
Destroyed all my chains
You flipped my world upside down
And loved me in all my nakedness

You
Whose love showed me a new paradise
By leading me out of my comfort zone
Who made my heartbeats go wild
And boosts my adrenaline every single second of my life

You
You are the sunshine
To my cold life
The weakness in my veins
And the strength in my muscles
You are the air in my lungs
The reason I wake up each morning
The reason I sleep soundly at night
The courage in my heart
And the reason in my mind
You are a whole new world for me
Whom I want to share my own world with too
You are the world that I never knew
And the world that I want to keep on exploring every single second of the day

I love you