I don't know what I'm doing
I don't know what I'm feeling
I don't know where I'm going
I don't know who I'm being
I'm overwhelmed,
frustrated,
I can't cope

These are the slogans
I repeat to myself
Over and over again

Oh yeah

I'm a failure too
I've lived this life
What did I do?
What do I have to
show for it?

These facts about myself
are the one thing
I'm very positive about.

I repeat these slogans
day in and day out
always wondering
what I'm so
depressed about

I bury my head in these sands

Suffocating
Smothering
choking on anxiety
in my own
advertising slogans
on my private airwaves

To complicate
matters
worse
just because we think something
doesn't make it true
that goes for
self worth too.

But

Mindfulness
stands
watching the passing cars
from a freeway overpass
like our racing thoughts
not holding on
not making them go away,
in peace
simply
letting them
be.

i'm back at home
and you welcome me with open arms

"welcome home, we missed you!"

a warm embrace leads to a tender kiss
a night in bed, very well missed

a one day stay, leads to a week long stay
eventually, i pack my things, it's time to go

you stand in the doorway, holding the **** firmly

"you're not going anywhere, you BELONG here."

you're right, i do belong here.
i can't argue that.

i unpack my things, get cozy in bed.
you lay next to me, place your arm on my chest

everything wells up, the feelings set in
the familiar settings, the normal mindset.

darkness welcomes it's self around me
it's my second home, i can't argue.