Lethargic

As you lie on your back and close your eyes. The gentle breeze caresses your skin. You smell the air, and it is scented with nostalgia from memories past

Each minutes passes by. 60 beats. Heartbeat. Your heart beats in rhythm with each breath you take

Gentle breeze

i tried to find
a song
a poem
a piece of art
something, anything
that felt like
or sounded like
you

i looked
and searched
asked
and wondered
yet no matter what
i tried
there was nothing
that came close

for you
my platonic soulmate
are one of a kind
a light in the dark
warm, soft
kind, loving
selfless
a best friend

i couldn't find anything
because
nothing
nothing is like you

I don't deserve what I have

1. I don't deserve to be alive
    So can I trade my life for
    Someone more valuable than me


2. I don't deserve to be loved
    So please give your heart to
    Someone who can love you more


3. I don't deserve happiness
    So direct your smile to
    Someone who will smile back at you


4. I don't deserve me
    So to myself
    Find someone else to be

That’s the thing

I can’t love anymore

Because I was led to believe that I was loved

Only to discover that it was all an act

He was only lonely

And I was led to believe that I had found someone who would treat me better than my parents treated each other

I can’t have you

Because I’ll go in the relationship

Just waiting for the inevitable to happen

The moment you look me in the eye and say you never loved me

I look back at my poems
And I laugh to myself

How sweet they were
My feelings then

Only lasting a moment
An hour and a day

A time so precious and dear

We've finally met
After not seeing each other for so long

And yet here I am
Pushing you away

From my heart, my mind
Hoping not fall in love

Helpless that I will have to fight
Against feelings I don't want to have