I find myself lost in a river of emotions,
With no life jacket, no raft,
Just me,
Water up to my neck,
Drowning on the inside where nobody can see,
I put a smile on my face and act as if everything is ok,
But all I do is wait patiently,
For someone to save me from these crashing waves,
The longer I stay here,
I drift further and further away,
The bed I made was a river,
I had no intentions to stay,
I guess that’s what happens when you pretend and put on a show,
But the truth is out,
Now everyone knows.

Here we are again
Doing the same **** that we used to
My heart has been broken, my love has been stolen, really all the **** that I’m used to
Trying to fix what’s been long broken
You want me to believe that things on’t be how they used to
But I don’t feel how I used to
I don’t love you like I used to
I don’t believe in you like I used to
I don’t crave you like I used to
I don’t look forward to us like I used to
Cause I know after while it’ll just be what I’m used to
I don’t know how to get you to understand
That this isn’t the me you are used to
I have standards, more emotions and boundaries, more value than you are used to
I don’t want to get comfortable to what I’m used to
Being used to has gotten me no where
But dealing with **** that I’m used to.

A new start a new life
Something to make me smile
Something to erase all this pain
Something really worth my while
I truly hope you find me
And when you do I’ll be standing right here waiting for you
You need me just like I need you
So don’t deprive yourself of a love that could be so true
Let’s put our past behind us and learn from our mistakes
Because we know without love you really only attract snakes.

I find myself lost in a river of emotions,
With no life jacket, no raft,
Just me,
Water up to my neck,
Drowning on the inside where nobody can see,
I put a smile on my face and act as if everything is ok,
But all I do is wait patiently,
For someone to save me from these waves of ways crashing against my face,
The longer I stay here,
I drift further and further away,
The bed I made was a river,
I had no intentions to stay,
I guess that’s what happens when you pretend and put in a show,
But the truth is out,
Now everyone knows

I never knew the hate and jealousy was so real,
Now not knowing what to listen to, what to think or how to feel,
The light that lives inside me burns with purpose,
Maybe theirs would too,
if they actually protected their vibe,
Changed the people they hang with,
you know,
really found their tribe,
I’ve heard the words of family, the lies spewed through their teeth,
All because they couldn’t be little ol me,
Fake smiles, I love you’s, and walking contradictions,
They didn’t think I’d see the truth that the whole time I’ve been missing,
It’s not love, it’s jealousy and greed,
When they thought I wasn’t looking they sowed a seed,
Ignorantly not knowing what they do,
Cause, Everything you send out comes right back to you,
The darkness I have endured, they thought no one would ever know,
But The veil has been lifted,
now everyone can enjoy the show

A mother’s prayer begins the day the negative turns into a plus,
Every prayer a mother releases into the universe is no longer for herself,
but for the seedlings that will one day sprout into her garden,
A mother that prays , prays for love, protection, and good health,
Coming from where I'm from,
We have to pray a little more and a whole lot harder,
I pray these people give my babies a chance,
Spare them from the ak47 and ar15 that they love so much,
Spare them from negative connotations,
Spare them from being another statistic,
Spare them from the hate,
Spare them from the fear,
Let them wake up in the morning to a new day,
Let them shine like the sun in the sky,
Let them live like their is no tomorrow,
Allow them to laugh so deeply that it hurts ,
Allow them to be your source of light,
Allow them to inspire and change the world,
Protect their big lips, unruly hair, and chocolate skin,
Protect their innocence,
Protect them from the hidden devils that have been placed on this earth,
Protect them every second, every minute, every hour
Give them strength to overcome,
Give them understanding to the circumstances they have been born into,
Give them knowledge to distinguish the real,
I can not protect my children,
I can not stop the plan,
I can not write a life of love and happiness for them,
So I ask the people of this world to not put any more pressure upon there already ridden backs,
For I am a mother who prays.