If you asked me
Why I fell in love with you
I would say
Your smile
The way you snort when you laugh
Your bear hugs
The forehead kisses you gave me every night
Your snores

But if I asked you
Why you fell in love with me
You would sit there silently
Because you can't remember

You will never know
The peace of acceptance
Once you are finished
Put to earth
Life was harsher than the dirt
Parents made you feel worthless
Cause you wanted to wear a short dress
Because you felt different
Cut off
Disowned
Disavowed
One friend after another disappears
And no one hears
The sobs
No one feels the salty tears
No one holds your hands
Or offers you a hug

You were ******
By the those who demand
You conform
Where there was no  warmth
The clock cuts you bitterly
Condemning you to be lonely
And I cry all the more
Knowing you won’t be the only one
Not the only daughter wanting to be a son
Not the only male that wants to be female
Not the only soft face harden
Or hard face softened till the sorrow overflows
Till everyone you know closes the door
And you disappear forever more

Boys don't like sad girls
Boys don't like girls with cuts on their arms
Boys don't like girls who scream at night
Boys don't like girls with monsters in their head

Boys don't like girls like me.

(a.d)

When I say you don't deserve her,
When I say that you should leave,
When I say you won't make it here,
When I say you make her grieve

When I say you should be better,
When I say you'll have to change,
When I say you don't treat her well,
When I say you're acting strange

When I say you don't love her,
When I say you'll hurt her heart,
When I say you aren't good enough,
When I say you should stay apart

When I say you never should've met her,
When I say you should've stayed far away
When I say you will be the worst thing that could happen to her,
I beg you to prove me wrong!

I wish to be the girl you hold so tight
I wish to be the one you lay with at night
I wish I could be able to trust again
I wish I could stop writing with this blood pen
I wish I was beautiful, thin, and tall
I wish I could just sleep and forget it all
I wish I could go and live on a star
I wish I was strong enough to go that far
I wish to be confident, important, and smart
I wish my first job will be a good start
I wish to stop growing and always stay young
I wish I could hide my nicotine stained tongue
I wish that I will graduate and live a great life
I wish that my husband will think me a good wife
I wish to have kids so I can watch them grow
I wish I was strong enough to just let go
I wish to move on, forget, and forgive
I wish to be happy so I can just live
I wish that soon you will understand
I wish I could replace my thyroid gland
I wish that I was a healthy child
I wish that I could fly for miles
I wish that my family will begin to be kind
I wish to rid the suicidal thoughts from my mind
I wish to be recognized for my art
I wish that the right boy will fix my heart
I wish that I will be more optimistic
I wish that my wishes were more realistic