I only see you
in the dreams I fall asleep in:
the daydreams in my nightmares,
right before the darkness creeps in.
Behind a pane I cannot break,
I watch as if I'm wide-awake:
the flashback as I sink
into the deep end.

We meet behind the words
inside our stories.
You lie to me and me to you,
the whole thing is annoying.
"Never so alive!"
will be the vehicle we drive
as we go diving from the cliff
into the quarry.

I thought gravity, for granted,
was to ground me
'til it pulled the seven shores in
all around me.
It was a slight tectonic shift
that pushed my sanity out drifting
into nonsense:
time is tasted, spaces sound.
I am landlocked,
but convinced that I have drowned.
I had a flashback (or a dream)
that when we kissed, I heard your secrets
and they tasted so, so sweet
inside my mouth.

I believe there's secrets hidden amongst our stars.

They're dying to tell us..

You just have to listen...
but listen you must with an open heart

I've been feeling like I'm losing myself,
can you help me find it ?

I'm made of all;
The books I've ever read
Poems I've ever written
Faces who have smiled at me
Hugs that have wrapped around me
Caresses that have graced my inner thigh
Countries & continents my feet have touched
The lovers as we simultaneously reach ecstasy within
Lonely nights shedding tear drops
Nights gazing black skies moon & stars
Children falling asleep to my heartbeat
Animals whose soul was found through reflective eye stares
Conversations spoken in French, Spanish, Italian, Xhosa, Afrikaans, Norwegian, German
Years of ******-, cognitive-, dialectical-, art-, drama-, music-, mindfulness-, trauma-, psychiatry-; therapies
The drinks & drugs & mind altering substances dispersing my mind
In all I'm made of;
Love
Lust
Greed
Fear
Joy
Freedom
Longing
Dreams
Despair
Sadne­ss
Anger
Frustrations
Happiness
Anxieties
Insecurities....

In all I'm made of;

A soul; securely contained within a body of battled scars;
over;
pain & triumphs, losses & gains, rejections & acceptances, dishonours & accolades...

With the hope; she too, can live life through.

© Sia Jane