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Jack Jan 2018
Smiling,
A fleeting, short lived moment of happiness is corrupted,
There you are again,
Running around in my mind.

Memories of staring out of the open window,
Framed by your purple, fabric curtains,
The tree outside waving to me as warm breezes flowed through the window,
It’s distinctive red leaves dancing around the strong, brown trunk,
Looking down I see your head resting on my chest,
Your long brown hair spread randomly and imperfectly perfect along my body and your bed,
My arm snaked around your shoulder, down your delicate back,
Encasing you in a protective shield of a seemingly undying love,
You’d look up, noticing my smiling gaze and just smile,
An open mouthed, teeth baring smile that could silence my demons,
But its not directed at me anymore,
who is it directed to?

I return to real life,
Left empty and lonely I sit,
My fleeting high of the rare drug ‘happiness’ gone,
Taken away by the smile that used to supply it to me.

I shouldn’t care I ended our relationship,
Get out of my head.

Is it possible to miss someone you don’t love?
Because if it’s not I made a big mistake.
I don't know what you'd call this but I just wrote down what just happened to me and what happens often. it's long and i'm sorry for that.
Jack Jan 2018
In youth we all feared the dark,
Monsters hid in it,
Our parents, armed with flimsy night lights would banish these monsters,
And we’d be saved, protected by the illuminating beams.

In youth we all feared the dark,
Odd sounds and creaking frightened us,
Our parents, prepared with stories of heroes would silence the sounds,
And we’d be saved, reassured by the knowledge there’s always a hero to help.

As my aged self I fear the dark,
I’m now the monster hidden in it,
No small, cheap light to banish their screaming voices,
No one to save me with their incorruptible light.

As my aged self, I fear the dark,
The screeching voices of guilt and regret frighten me,
There are no stories to protect me,
No stories to assure me of a day they’ll be silenced.
Jack Dec 2017
The starless night stares silent,
Gently the wind dances through brown, crisp leaves,
A small cobble path lies, carefully lit by the full, encapsulating moon,
To the right, an empty field, drenched in dew,
To the left a still pond, glimmering with the white light from the heavens,
In front, skeletal structures of wooden giants frozen in time,
Fox holes border the path, untouched for months as the residents sleep through the cold,
The usual steady flow of traffic halted by the call to rest,
Not a sound is heard,
Everything lay silent, still, peaceful.
Everything but what was running around in his head.
Jack Dec 2017
Is it okay to not be okay?
To feel so out of control and out of touch.

What happens if I make a mistake?
Will it affect how people see me?

Does everyone struggle to sleep?
Surrounded by the screaming voices of guilt.

What happens if I lie or cheat?
Can it ever be enough?

Does everyone feel worthless?
To have no true purpose of being here.

Is it normal to feel broken?
Scattered pieces floating in the wind.

Does everyone welcome the idea of dying?
The sweet release of nothingness.

What should someone do when they are always sad?


I’m asking for a friend.
Jack Dec 2017
The boy flew,
He soared higher than the clouds as the winds blew,
He smiled, He laughed,
The boy was free.

Then the danger struck,
And the boy’s wings it took,
He fell to Earth,
His innocently arrogant youth had passed.

He marched with the others who were lost,
It took him too long to know what this would cost,
The boy, now man, grew sad,
It was too late to climb to the heights of his youth.

The man did as he was told,
An evil grip on this world then properly took hold,
While everyone was awake with their eyes closed,
Pain, suffering and war took over our Earth.

As our world began to die,
With many tears he started to cry,
He was not who he wanted to be,
But this perfect self was impossible to see.

The man grew tired of the complexity of a simple life,
He began to think that it was time to take up his knife,
As he did what he thought was right he saw a dark tunnel,
It was too late to stop now.

What he saw It was not pretty,
There was no light at the end, no rhyme or rhythm,
But he saw something that made him smile with glee,
No Earth, no existence to need to pretend to be happy.
Jack Dec 2017
She loved him,
They were young and stupid,
She was sad, he was happy,
Their relationship moved too quickly,
Although young they indulged in intimate love.

She loved him,
They were young and stupid
She was sad, he was happy,
He was busy being a child, this upset her,
She hurt herself and blamed it on him.

She thought she loved him,
But they were young and stupid,
He was tired and hurting,
He asked to confide in a childhood, female, friend.

It was not taken well.

She loved him,
But she was too young to understand,
There was no reply for 37 minutes,
She facetimed him in tears,
She reversed the camera to show what she had done,

Crimson blood ran down her arms,
It dripped down, corrupting the beige carpet,
Tears fell alongside the dark drops,
Her mum entered. The call ended.

She loved him,
2 hrs later he thought he’d killed her,
He broke up his ******, prepubescent razor,
Without a second thought he dug it into his leg.

Crimson blood ran down his leg,
It dripped down, corrupting the beige carpet,
Tears fell alongside the dark drops,
But no one entered, no one to help him.

She loved him,
She got stitched up and it became like it never happened.
He loved her,
He was left scarred and that image of her wrists never left him.

4 years later he sat in his room,
Alone,
He wrote a piece of text.
This Isn’t a Poem. Its My Life.
This isn't a poem. I know that but im drunk and depressingly happy, this is my story. i hope it helps you <3
Its long but worth the read if you need someone to relate to. Never forget, you are loved.
Jack Dec 2017
Cursed, the feeling of constant regret,

Fighting, failing to cope with life,

Lost, unable to find who I want to be,

Sick, tired, broken and abused,

Beaten, my mind black and blue from self pity and loathing,

Hated, unable to love myself,

Scarred, pain waits around every corner,

Sleepless, the thought of you encapsulates me,

Depressed, searching for happiness at The Bottom of The Bottle.
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