After every battle that has raged
I think about how my life has aged
What have I become, what have I done
I stop running and lay down my gun
But I don't want it the end like this
I would rather it end with your sweet kiss
I sit on the cold ground, sore and sick
But getting back up that's the real trick
You see life is worth fighting for
But half the time that's my problem in this cold war
Maybe I should give up on this game called life
Now that all I have to fight is myself and a knife
I don't know why I have to be strong everyday
It's all been feeling like black and grey
Getting worst and worst day by day
All I can do now is pray

I'm falling apart again...
From the fear that runs in my veins
The fear of the worst
The fear that will make my heart burst
I think things thru 100 times in my head
On how to cure this dread
Try to understand how this fear hurts me
It feels like I'm drowning, I can not breath
It feels like burns to my soul on 3rd degree
Like I'm bout to have a sudden death
All I can do is scream
"Wake me up from this dream!"
A dream where I have so much feelings of sad
But no where to hide and cry, it drives me mad
I cry out for help but no one hears me
I'm bleeding out for help but no one feels me
Nobody really cares, nobody really knows
I don't think you mean to harm me I suppose
But this fear you give me sometimes
Goes on in my head a million times
Twists my thoughts around
It gives me paranoia that brings me down
That this fear cuts me inside
And this fear is losing you

Come with me threw this old abandoned door
I left it open I could have swore
This passage to whats stirs in me
The things that must not be set free
Open this door, this cage for me please
I know you have had all along, the keys
Go inside and take a peak
Of the great evil and pain I cant defeat
The pain that I locked away
Comes to consume me like prey
I lose Myself a little more each time I fight it alone
Go to where I have shown
The beating ****** door
Where my heart lays torn
Go there
Before I tare

Whisper to me agin
How life was back then
When nothing would hurt
When all I had on me was dirt
Now that life is real
And not as happy as it was
I can't seem to heal
But I gotta press on because
There's someone that cares
She's a person that knows
She helps me when I start to ware and tare
And when life really blows
I see her and I'm bright
I feel full of might
When she holds my hand thru the flood
And afterwards we play in the mud
So I gotta stay strong
I must stay brave and tall
For nothing can be wrong
When things run up the wall

Where the cold kills
The north land thats give chills
Where the tearing wind scars the ground
Nothing not even a sound
Theres not a thing alive  
Nothing can survive
A place where the sun doesn't shine
Where death and cold combine
After the thick frost consumes
You will be frozen in time, doomed

I am different on the inside
The pain is amplified
Its sad to say this pain is killing me
But its sad to say this pain is keeping me alive
It is my fuel that holds me back
But keeps me on track

I am different on the inside
My heart is tied
Held down by the metal
It keeps my feelings unsettle
To the point I wish I couldn't feel
Im not on the outside steel

My thoughts don't need to recharge
They stay in my data large
I think more like a machine
Caught in a smoke screen
Wasting away  
Into the grey

On and on the same feelings
Day after Day
They build up inside me
I strive to control it
Before they burst
When they burst Im not myself
I feel the weight of the world
The people, the feelings, and my thoughts
Going through life I strive
I strive for greatness
I strive to be everything you want
I strive to be perfect for you
I strive to be strong to take away your pain too
I strive to make you happy
There is a hunger inside me
That only goes away when you are truly happy
Like I knew you once was
But its his loss
I gained you in my life
I wish you could tell me what you want
So I may make it come true
I strive to make everyone happy
Everyone but one person
That person doesn't matter to me
That persons hurts me sometimes
That person controls what I see
And that person is me