The liberation that comes
When learning to say NO
One of the least used words
Yet one of thé most powerful

What will they say you think
Afraid to disappoint
What will they think you wonder

A heavy black cloud to be lifted from your shoulders
When suddenly to utter the word NO

Out of all the hearts you could break, why did it have to be mine?

Sunset like drizzling honey
Spread across a toasted sky
Evening, a swirl of emotions
And the warm glaze of her arms
Both of us nested in the twigs
Of seeing our lives intertwined

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

I.
i stopped eating again; ridiculous, i know. i can see myself telling you this, i can see your reaction clear as day. i can

see your chest rise, see your eyes fall, i

remember the way your body moves after all this time. i know the curve of your lips. i know the dimples on your back. i

know what you’d say if you knew everything ive done since you left me. id swallow your silence with toast to keep my tummy from aching; id wrap myself up in your pity like gauze and reflect on my faults while you stare at me through the hair in your eyes that’s growing oh-so-fast because

i did exactly what you told me not to do the last time we talked. im comfortable with the fact that ill never be able to tell you ‘cause

i know you know, id recognize the feeling of your eyes on me anywhere. i think of you when it hits the back of my throat and i laugh when i gag ‘cause i know you would too.

II.
i check the clock and it’s 3:45; five minutes pass and it’s 6 in the morning. time isn’t concrete like a lot of things aren’t and now i snort when i laugh ‘cause i got used to the feeling, sharp inhale, drag forward slow, if you saw me like this you’d just laugh in my face and

i take a drag at 5:34. 40 minutes pass and it’s 5:46. time isn’t concrete like a lot of things aren’t and i wonder if you’ll remember my birthday this year ‘cause im turning 16, ill never catch up to your 17 years. if you saw me like this you’d remind me im stunting my growth .

To the man who is up all night,
Who some never see.

Isn't it lovely to be?
To be paid to just to watch them sleep.

So peaceful in their slumbers.

You rarely have a thing to do.
Yet you are paid none the less.

But the job costs more than it pays...

And your jabbering keeps haunted minds alert and on guard.

And its hard for you to be alert too...

When you need to be.

For appointments, errands, social activities, and such.

You take care of us...
But you must take care of you!

Oh mystery man who does not sleep.
Be careful my dear.

Someday it may be you,
Restless in their beds.