I grew jealous of your naivety
your sheltered life
the calmness of your thoughts
and the safety you found in your pristine house
A house that had not been burnt to the ground by uninvited visitors
you still held your innocence within your hands
grasping tightly onto the hopes and dreams of a child
the spark in your eyes yet to be extinguished

I was envious of the positivity captured within your soul
the nonchalant filter through which you viewed the world
your vision remained unobscured
the cruel reality of the world had yet been revealed
your life remained normal, uneventful
Everything I lacked
everything I desperately wanted

Demons rear their heads
Eyes deep with sincere vacancy
You speak beside me in tongues
I feel warm, they are all familiar
But it is not my fight to fight

I am going mad
I strike a match to you
So dark, I can hardly see
Come here, please

I wanna feel your heart
Beat

Say you want to run away
As long as you'd take
me with you
Say it with conviction
Spit it out,
Grab me by the throat
And I will loosen my leash

A sun in your sky
Not what you need
Mesmerizing
I see light in you
As you take mine in, in sips

Cue the solar eclipse

As we fade into the night
My psychopathic delight
We're all just in this for the fight

You kiss the hollow of my cheek
Tell me how I am so unique
And I chase my tail for you,
All hopped up on emotion

Just a Lonely girl with
some divine notions

Let it fall apart, baby
Cause you know
I will just blame it
on the Starless Night
Say "Fight the good fight",
Thank you, for the scars
On my broken heart

You can only torment a soul for so long
Before it rejects you as its master.

I always knew
your eyes were beautifully Blue,
but it wasn't until that moment
that I poured my thoughts out
and we caught each others' existences
in a look
that I truly realized
how soothing it felt
to be staring directly into the same Blue
that made me feel
as if I were surrounded
by the Ocean of my own room.

we are everything
that we have experienced
in life so far

all our experiences
have made us
what we are at this moment

but something
has brought us together
maybe something in our past

maybe a common event
that only we share
that can make us complete

maybe it's that same event
that sometimes attracts
sometimes repels

maybe the closer we get
to the truth
the more we repel

but we desire
the truth
so we attract
as well

our minds are all conditioned
with a zillion tiny pieces
of ideas, picked up
from somewhere
consciously or unconsciously
reflecting one another
exchanging perceptions
in hopes that
we find a meaning
to all of it

Actually scratch that.

I miss the things we planned to do,
The drives
The lunch dates
The lazy mornings watching movies
And how our just woken up tongues would taste.

I miss the memories I hoped to have,
But I guess you didn't think the same

I'm not quite sure what I said,
Why it all turned out this way
Or what caused you to leave me sitting alone in that park.

Maybe it was the alcohol,
Or maybe you were afraid of what might happen.

Either way.
When I looked down at you
That one lazy morning,
Right before you gave up on me,
I wanted you
With all my heart

But in your eyes I saw how apprehensive you were.
I saw the barbed wire around your tongue
And the metal fences behind your eyes I'm not strong enough to climb.

It doesn't help you kept building it higher.

So to make it simple.
When people ask me what's wrong
Because they see the bags you left under my eyes
Or the flesh you took that used to pad my ribs.
I remember how I came home smelling like you
Because we hadn't stopped touching each other for hours.

And I'll tell them,
I had a few late nights
Waiting for a friend to get home
So I knew they were safe.

If we are being honest
I know you will come home,
But I am not your home.
I tried,
I would have done close to anything to be

But I was too weak to climb your fenses
And I cut myself too many times on your sharp edges

If you hadn't left I would have let myself be cut to ribbons.