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halioth Mar 24
In the depths of despair she once roamed
Haunted by voices, her mind not her own
Addiction’s cruel grip, a relentless foe
Reality blurred, illusions took hold

Aside the chaos, in the quiet of her mind,
A secret weighed heavy, one of a kind,
A truth discovered, a burden to bear,
In the depths of her soul, she tasted fear

The voices whispered deviant tales
She fought & struggled, but to no avail
Lost in a world where delusion reigned
She stumbled, she fell, her sanity strained

She longed to share, to open her heart,
But the demons within tore her apart,
When she spoke, the words contorted,
Purpose lost, her mind distorted

Thus in her past, mistakes were made,
Actions taken, debts unpaid,
Regrets weigh heavy, but the deed is done
Severe colours now perceived as her truth

It took a while, but she did it, she’s free,
From addiction’s chains she had flee
Through darkness, she sought the dawn,
as the first light broke, her new life began

And as time went by, she started to see,
Her burden could be her key to be free,
For in her truth she found colossal grace,
A light in the darkness, a guiding embrace

And as she nears the verge of the sublime,
She knows it’s almost her time to climb,
To rise from the ashes, to soar and fly,
A testament to strength that refuses to die
halioth Apr 2023
I will always love you
How I do
It hurts me
That we’re strangers again
Will we ever know
Each other again?

I know we will
Or this longing
Will never cease
Though I hate you again
I still want you
The same way
halioth Jun 2022
I admit
The mistakes I made
Were intentional

I played life like a frisbee
And it always comes back around
Biting me like a wild dog

So in the end
I have no one else to blame
But myself

All I can do now
Is wish life
Had some kind of rewind button
halioth Jun 2022
Of being stuck with
A fate
That is our very own
Can’t be changed

Such a great tragedy indeed
I write this with a heavy heart today. I wish very much, to be someone else, even for a day. This skin I’m tired of wearing, as it comes with a lot of baggage.
halioth Jan 2021
Who shall I run to?
Life is creating free choices for me
And telling me to take it, this is my path
I’m wallowing in a self-sabotaging territory
Pleading with myself, to do something about it
A need to be seen, to be accepted, to be held
A need to also remove the importance from myself
A need to be beautiful and shallow
And not go through as many philosophies in my head each day
A need to write and not be anxious about it
I’m in a cage and it’s getting smaller
I’m in denial of my own fate
Why me? Why so? Why this?
Why do I have to see everything so clearly?
The knowing, bothersome by the days
The concealing, revealing
I want to cry till I’m no longer sorry
halioth Jan 2021
my bludgeoned heart bleeds
my soulful mind pleads
my aching eyes scarlet
like the fire in my lungs
makes it hard to breathe

love is, and always will be
like a fatal car accident
this time I didn’t survive it
with no peace to rest in
halioth Aug 2020
to grow, we will have to outgrow
because we start small in everything
body and mind
our experiences widen
so does our heart
and to find God,
we’ll have to find Ourselves

If there’s only 1 God
then that will have be you for now.
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