You love skinny-dipping in my tears
yet you think they are pathetic
You love the snowflakes of my blue days
Yet you say I should cheer up a bit
You say I should control my anger
Yet you poke me,insult me,what do you what from me
You love when I cower and crawl under
yet you say I should be stronger,tougher
You love the hate you make me give
Yet you say am mean and selfish
You love when am weak and begging
Yet you say am greedy and desperate
You say you love me,you do all this out of love
Yet behind closed doors you treat me like dirt
Yet you remind me am illegitimately born
Yet you flaunt how pathetic I am
Yet you expose me to abuse
Yet you expose me to drugs
Yet you deny me my rights
Yet you drain my soul dry
Yet I trust you,believe each word.
Yet am saying Now am sorry,am done.
No I won't live like this anymore
NO MORE,AM DONE

She was allergic
To pollen, but she jumped in
Flowers anyways.

She was terrified
Of thunderstorms, yet she was
A storm of her own.

She said she didn't
Know how to love, yet she loved
Him to perfection.

You know when you get the whisper of a melody in your head,
Or just that murmur of a song,or poem that you just have to write,
That gut feeling you get that it could be something amazing,
That's exactly  what I feel when am with you,
Euphoria  at it's highest peak.

True this could just be a lust phrase
That will hit hard and leave me seeing stars
True our physical chemistry isn't in question
But lacing fingers in the dark,hot breaths on your neck
Your murmur's "I know its to early but I really really more than like you"say more its like a euphoria drug injection to my heart.

You are like this song in my head,I want to hear more of
The whole song,the whole melody
I want to figure out if this is a song with power
Or one that will fade into history without leaving a mark.
All I know is I want more of this.

If I think too hard

I can still feel their hands on my body
Four of them rubbing and squeezing and grabbing my skin
Desperate for my oblivious being.

If I think too hard

I can still feel the scratch of his stubble
As his skin rubs mine
And the other caresses me
Taking away my control.

If I think too hard

The world still spins
I can hear the moaning
And the distant sounds of nature
Outside of our tent, but so far away from my reality.

If I think too hard

I can hear their comments of praise
To each other
As I lay there blind drunk
And they do with me what they please


If I think too hard

I try desperately to shield the memory,
The three of us entangled
And together,
A trio of drunken disgrace.

If I think too hard

I cringe and cry
And my legs clamp shut
Disgusted at my stolen consciousness
And forever violated by my memory.

If I think too hard

I hate myself for what happened
I hate him for being drunk
And I hate the other for being selfish,
Breaking my heart and my trust

I know that it's hard
You can feel the anger and frustration rising up from your core
unsure of whether it will seep out of your eyes or your lungs
You're not sure how to react
Do you tear down everything in sight
or do you crawl into bed for the rest of the week
letting yourself fall into darkness

The reality is, you'll do both
Some days you'll want to yell at the top of your lungs
You'll want to throw rocks at windows
rip all your pictures and throw them in the fire
And on other days you'll want to be left alone
in the warm comfort of your bed
with a box of tissues and the saddest music you can find

I know you don't understand why it had to be you
Why you had to be the one to feel so broken
Out of all the people in the world
What did you ever do to deserve this
You'll feel tempted to blame yourself
for the hurt caused by someone else

It's not your fault
It's not your responsibility to control their actions
The fact is, you can't change what happened
As much as you want to, you can't turn back time
What's done is done
Now you're left in the rubble
I know that that's not fair
Nothing seems fair enough

Everything will hurt
Getting up in the morning with a fake smile
Watching the people in your life so full of joy
Forcing yourself to do anything but wallow in pity
It's not easy
You need to give yourself more credit
I know that when you say you're doing okay
you probably aren't, and that's okay

It won't be okay for a while
I wish I could tell you it will but that's not true
It will **** today, tomorrow and the next day after that
You'll have happy days, but you won't be happy

You may not believe it or even want to hear this but
at some point, you'll wake up and it'll hurt a little less
At the end of the day, you are the person you're left with
You will learn how to let yourself feel better
because if you don't, who will?
You don't deserve to feel sad forever
You deserve the chance for happiness
You deserve it all