all i remember is that first sip,
the rest, of course, is a blur.
i don't remember tripping over thin air,
or being here but not being all there.
i tried to drink you away,
to forget the taste of your lips,
i craved more and more,
even though i wasn't supposed to be doing this.
i tried to dance you away,
to forget the weight of your bones,
i danced all night long,
it did nothing for me, though.
because i saw your face and heard your voice,
i thought of your body and thought of your noise.
we were perfectly imperfect,
and yet i took every drink,
every drug,
every song,
every opportunity,
to forget how much you mean to me.
i kissed a different set of lips,
and still tasted you,
i held a different body between my hips,
but still screamed like it was you.
i knew texting you was a bad idea but i still did it anyways,
and what you said next made everything in my body freeze.
"i'm sorry for everything,
i'm sorry i ever dated you.
i'm sorry for the bruises and broken bones,
i'm sorry i ever got attached to you."
that's when i finally craved the feeling,
of alcohol running in my veins.
it burned my throat a little,
but i relished in the pain.
i still remember the thought,
nothing that good could ever go bad,
the night was a blur,
and everyone around me was constantly sad.
i wondered why,
why do these things in life bring us all down,
i taught them of love,
and hoped you'd come around.
i told them our story,
and pretended i'd have you again,
i'm sorry for what we've been through,
but only sorry for everything at the end.
because the beginning was great,
i'm not a saint,
but i believed in you, in us and everything we've been through,
i believed in love and lust and complete trust,
i've been places,
you have too,
next time just promise,
you'll take me with you.

They say that when an artist dies, God lets them paint the sky and lately I've been thinking a lot about what my sunset would look like

I look to the sky,
to an endless an
seamless
ceiling of cumulus clouds
for a break
in their unity,
I find me
a window,
colored in sharp cerulean blue,
an I see some pieces of hope,
in beautiful refractions of
life giving light,
in that glorious clear that beckons me so

Ma Cherie © 2017

Look onward to the sky
perhaps life will seem simpler.

Look onward to the sky
and smoke a cigarette,
perhaps life will seem calmer.

Look onward to the sky,
then drink a beer
and smoke a cigarette,
perhaps life will seem funnier.

Look onward to the sky,
while holding her hand,
then drink a beer
and smoke a cigarette,
perhaps life will seem less lonely.

Look onward to the sky,
but listen to the silence
while holding her hand,
then drink a beer
and smoke a cigarette,
perhaps life will seem more relaxing.

Look onward to the sky
when thinking about life,
but listen to the silence
while holding her hand,
then drink a beer
and smoke a cigarette,
perhaps life will seem more enjoyable.

Look onward to the sky
even if it's for a little bit.