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My past is mine
I write what I know
The words come easily
Effortlessly they flow

Pen on the paper
Ink on the page
The room fills with smoke
The burning of rage

Going back in time
She's no longer here
I was a different person
Suffocated in sadness & fear

I fell into depression
Made some bad choices
My mind got paralyzed
I heard so many voices

The Devil's work
Hellfire he lit
I wasn't prepared
The psychosis just hit

Completely unrecognizable
I had a new pulse
Lost in my own world
My reality was false

I remember everything
I made it out alive
I wish I didn't
How did I survive?

I used to have dreams
I was back in that place
My nightmares felt real
Tears burned down my face

Through & through
Thoughts of my past
The effects of my trauma
How long will they last?

I want to forget
All of the pain
Haunting my memories
Burning my brain

My soul was destroyed
Turned to dust in the ground
I can finally sleep
In the peace I have found
September 13th, 2024
I chose to be my first love
My last love
My everlasting love

I chose to love me first
Before you do too
Chose self love and love will always find you
Tree tops, tree tops,
Air swinging back.
Driving, driving,
Until water pops.

Fallen and dying trees,
who lived to help.
Wood that stands
With sticks as hands.

Hands that stay still,
As you go downhill.
The world follows
This oblivious drill.

Yet you drive and drive
Until water you find.

You’re an evergreen.
You don’t take to survive;
You’re a shelter for life.
If you drive and drive,
I know water you’ll find.
I went camping recently, but we couldn’t find a river. There were so many dead trees, as well as beautiful evergreens and open fields. As always, I came up with something✨✨
Tools for poetry
Pen , paper , empathy
Wit , emotion too.
I am left yearning to drown,
When smothered in your love.
Breath, breath is optional,
I live off of your love.

Addiction, obsession, craving,
Need, you are need,
So I repeat the same words back to you,
Drown me.
green means go
but i hesitate.
because every green light
turns yellow eventually,
and i’ve learned to fear
what’s coming.

it’s not really about driving.
it’s just,
every time life feels good,
i’m already scared
of losing it.
A reminder of an ex-lover?
An unstitched wound?
An uninvited guest?
An unbearable pain?

All the unanswered questions
haunt me now day and night.
Somewhere in the evergreens,
Smoke stacks rise above the trees,
Peaking amongst the clouds,
As light rain sprinkles the grounds.
We lay softly asleep,
Far off from the wooded cove,
My arms around your resting form,
Breathing lightly,
To ensure you sleep well.
 2d CantSeeMe
Pri
Don’t tell me what’s holy when your visions of heaven sounds like chains.
You say i’m free but only if I kneel.
Only if I speak your truth instead of mine.

You hand me a rulebook written in fear,
Marked with sins for simply being human.
Cover your hair,
Lower your voice,
Don’t feel that,
Don’t love them,
Don’t question,
Don’t doubt.

You say ‘god’ watches,
But it feels more like you are.

Policing bodies,
Minds,
And voiced that dare to excuse outside your lines.
Faith should never feel like a muzzle.
Worship should not be forced into trembling hands.

Believe if you believe.
But don’t make me carry the weight of a ‘god’ I didn’t choose.
Don’t call it salvation if it begins with fear.
Let me think.
Let me feel.
Let me choose what is sacred to me.

Because truth,
If it matters at all,
Shouldn’t need
To be forced.
Are you aware of
the infinite mirror of awareness?

You can always become more aware.
Just think of your relationship
to the present.
Think about your self-esteem.
Then process it.
Then think about what you think
About your inner reflection.

Judge yourself a little,
But don't create a victim.
Detach yourself from your self;
Look down.
Listen as if you aren't yourself.

Know who you are,
And accept what you're given.
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