Everyone was speaking English,
But here I was,
Unable to understand.
I know not which language I was speaking,
But my tongue couldn't form the right words;
My mind couldn't wrap around theirs.
As their words flowed like a majestic river,
Mine remained trapped in my head,
Shut in a barricade,
And so I remained silent.

I’ve gotten into knitting lately,
Even though I’m young.
It is a calming activity,
Accumulating rows one by one.

The relaxing part is the perseverance.
It takes time to make progress,
Yet once you finish,
The product is worth it.
You created it all yourself.
That feeling of achievement
Doesn’t leave me in stitches,
But in awe of the world.

You use up your resources,
The ball of yarn gets smaller.
Soon you will need a box
To contain all of your passion.
You yearn to create,
To achieve,
And to accomplish.

Repetition and persistance
Can reward all who try.
Even though a stitch may be lost,
Or the needles clang together,
You can always get back to it.
Giving up is pointless.

I try to distract myself
With stories that are made up,
With hobbies that waste time,
With friends that don’t know.

But yet,
My thoughts can’t avoid it.
They can’t avoid you.
I wish the stories were stories of us.
I wish we could have hobbies together.
I wish I were spending time with you,
Not them.

I try to distract myself from my problems.
I try to not complain.
I try to keep the emotions in.
But it’s so hard.
I want to remain strong,
But the battle rages on.
My armor is falling apart.
I’m falling apart.

Nobody knows me.
Some know parts of me,
Others know other parts of me.
But the puzzle has never been fully assembled.

They think they can tell me who I am,
But they’re just telling me who they want me to be.
I wish they knew,
But I like the mystery.
I like interacting,
But solitude is best.

If I give away too much,
It’ll hurt more.
I won’t be myself
Because I’ll have given all of myself away.

The note.
A high one.
Almost a screech.
Top of the range,
Just barely music.
Always reaching for the edge.
Yet another person comes along,
Five notes higher.
Skillfully mastered,
They get recognized.
I tried my best,
But it’s never good enough.

I never thought I could feel.
I thought I was above emotions,
Feelings,
Love.

Until I met you.
You made me feel such rich emotions:
Joy, happiness, fortune.
I never knew I could truly love
Until you came into my life.

I fell so hard for you.
You made me so happy,
And every moment I spent with you
Was just never enough.
I never thought I could experience
Happiness as great as that.

And then,
I experienced the other side.
Now I can experience the loss,
The pain,
The emptiness.
Because without you,
That’s all I can feel.

I never thought I’d experience such hurt.
I thought I could be strong,
And not get attached.
I was wrong.

I used to think that such feelings
Were exaggerations.
Cries for attention.
But now,
It’s my life.

Silly dreams,
Thoughts of perfection.
No mistakes,
No errors,
Just the perfect dream.
The realization hits me.
It is just a dream.
No more.
Reality hits hard.