Lately killing me
feels like the best kind of gift
to me for Christmas.

I love you
three words said too much
but never enough.

I don't like it
not because I haven't
"had a good time yet"
or
"I am confused"

I'm gay.
I don't like it,
*** is so
awkward
different
crazy
boring
all over
exasperating
weird.

I just don't see why people like it.
Am I weird?

I'm missing winter
just so I get a reason
just to be closer

You
I told about
what happened this summer,
about my father,
and his wife.

You
whom I just met,
6 days ago.

You
the guy that
made me feel more comfortable
than my own bed
and pillows.

You
scare me to no end
and

you,
make me happier
than I have
in the last 2 years.

Without
I am just here.
Somewhere between living and
death.
Sitting next to
is all I need
to feel that
coursing crimson in me
the ballooning of my lungs
body heat.
The thought
of gone.
Makes the crimson gets iced
the balloons deflate.
All I see is
a funeral.
Holding hands
soar throat
wet
cold
scared.
Everything escapes.

Suddenly

the ballooning is back
crimson coursing
tears rushing
body heat on my hand.
Words "I'll never leave"
come in my head.

"That isn't true"
Someday
the're will be
emptiness
and a coffin.

Eyes like the bright stars
Smile just as iridescent
You are perfection

With sleepy eyes
tear stained cheeks
and galaxies in your head
I wonder
If you need me