WHAT A POEM SHOULD BE

A
        Poem
               Should
Be
             Devoid
                  Of sentiments
            Should be
                   Dark as the Night
Or
                Clear as the day,
          *A
      Poem
            Should speak
Attention
And
        Not seek attention
             Should be
           Bright as the culminating cloud
Or
           Dark as the emanating nights
A
        Poem should not seek, but speak
Should be
              Free as the Moon moves the earth
       A
           Poem should
Be
         Free, but not stale
     Should be
            True, but not forced
A Poem
       Should not seek,
          But speak
Should
Be
    Vast as Rainfall
And yet
       Calm as Dew falls
A
                      Poem
Could be
        Violent,
But mean no harm,
Could be hateful,
          But mean no hate
    A
          poem
Should
      Be bright as SUNSHINE,
Should be
           Vast as Rainfall,
      Yet
         Calm as Dew falls
A Poem
     Should not seek attention
But
     Speak attention!!

Should be
        Vast as
               Rainfall

                     *Should
                          Be
    Vast
       As
            Rainfalls

I don't feel alive
Nor dead either

I just need a breather

So much air but feeling so smothered
Yet I can't be bothered

I'll just lie here and write some words reminding me of my existence

And it's insignificance

I don't feel alive
Nor dead either

You hate who I've become
Yet you say you love me

You claim your words are to set me free
Yet they do nothing but imprison me

Your words seep into my soul
my heart my brain

I'm always wrong
never right

And try as I might

I fail

I fail to please

please

leave me alone

Red gingham on jam pots
Wax lids preserving the berry
Tattered lace and old spots
Labels for black cherry.

Strawberries with leaves left on
Cups of tea with cream in
All the nice jam has gone
But there are biscuits in the tin.

Crumbs left on top when cakes took
pride of place after they were made
There is jam around his face look
Do you think the evidence will fade?

No because he has jam all over his top
and there is a smile on his jammy face
He keeps eating them, no signs he will stop
when there are jam tarts all over the place.

Red gingham on the table cloth freshly laid
jam pots with strawberries now preserved.
All the sugar used up, jam for the year made
get your hands off, that *** is reserved!

I used to always call you my angel
In my dreams, you have big white wings
Sometimes I remember the way your breath sounds and I feel a needle in my chest
You are still the "you" in my poems
And your presence lingers in all the right times, and all the wrong ones

I often wonder what it was like to be in love with a sad girl?
And I wonder if it is the reason you didn't want me anymore
I hear the word "my love" the way you say it over and over again in my head like a broken record breaking my brain cells
I am no longer yours

I'm losing who I am, or who I used to be
My dreams don't speak to me anymore, they left me the way birds leave in winter
And the way you left my cold eyes, my cold chest
The way you seem to leave everything but my sorrowful soul

I don't hope you're happy, because you always were
It was I and still it is I who suffers in silence and even in the day you left, you had a smile on your face
You didn't care, you never have
It's been 145 days
And I've been praying since for either you come home or you leave this miserable heart of mine at peace

I don't hope you're happy. In fact, I hope you're miserable
Because every time he kisses my hand and promises to stay something breaks in me
Every time he whispers "just trust me"
I remember how you spilled my trust from your hands all over the map and dissolved the red pins I had for you

It's funny how you were the only person I ever really fell in love with but you ended up making me puke my heart all over the bathroom floor.
You ask why do I miss you as if everything you did wasn't painful enough already
I often wonder, do you look at the stars and remember my passion for them?
Do you remember my raspy voice those late night calls?
Do I ever cross your mind or have it been so easy for me to dissolve?
Was I that easy to forget?

In your arms
I finally know what it's like to be home.

I have fallen in love with tunnels
The way they seem to never end
The light that always comes eventually

My hand smells like you after I hold yours for long
I whisper "you smell like home" and a tear tries to escape my eyes
The light, is in your eyes

I have fallen in love with the way your shirts fit you
And how the wind always blows in the right direction when you look at me
The light, is in my eyes

I have fallen in love with books and characters
The way people fall in love slowly, or really fast
How their hearts feel
Light, or heavy.. Never in between

I have fallen in love with our love story
Our first "I love you", and never the last
I love you, I love you, I love you
Never put out the light in me

I have fallen in love with you. Slowly, and then fast.
Like a train wreck, happily falling to pieces
Because now my puzzle piece finally found the other part
Like ocean waves finally reaching the shore
The darkness in me is illuminated by your light
You are my light
You are my light.

I want to open up his chest and hide in his rib cage so I could hear his heartbeat all the time

He grows inside of me like lilies and now I feel a forest there.