What do you call it
When you don't have the energy
To get up
To try to  **** yourself

hell is just
the church's
basement

you were like cigarette smoke
i breathed you in
and blew you out
and in your wake
you left a feeling like no other
as you made it harder to breathe
as my lungs turned black
and my cells died

there’s beauty in pleasant destruction

She stood on the bridge
In silence and fear
For the demons of darkness
Had driven her here

They cut her heart
Right out of her chest
Making her believe
That the demons knew best

They were always there
Sometimes just out of sight
Waiting in the background
Till the time was right

These demons were destructive
Knocking down the life she knew
Hating everything about her
She hated herself too

These demons can't be seen
But they're far from fairy tales
They live inside your mind
Their evilness prevails

So on the bridge she stood
About to end the fight
Then she stopped and thought
I'll fight them one more night.

A crow kissing skeleton skull
   And pecking dirt in the process.

Lace my ashes with flower seeds
   So that I may live a little longer.

I'd love to feel the rain
  Drip down my veins once again,
And make-believe the strid formed
    Will never dissapear. But

The dead don't get to decide that much
   Ahead.
Crow bleeding sunny black eyes, sing a song
As we

         Cross into morning. Crow, that maps my skin
          In sanskrit, please go a little softer. It's not
          That I never expected to die, it's just that I
           Never pictured it so sudden; and it's still

So long to go until I'm found...
Crow, would you be so kind as
To keep me company until then?

Some days are so low it hurts,
      Heartbeat racing limbo and spreading
Centre of chest in an empty ache.

Perspective slips, sliding underfoot
       Like a carpart pulled and unravelling,
Enveloping me and passing me by.

Some days floating still, eyes closed
         and wanting to dissapear.

I feel so lonely
With
No one to trust
Or
Turn to.
Supposed to be friends are more worried about themselves and can't notice what I'm doing.
I'm hiding
and
hurting,
Hurting emotionally
to the point where I've gone
numb inside.
The only times I remember I have feelings is
when the flood of emotions comes rushing out
and
leaves me
shaking
and panting for air.