A: Favorites

Jan 2015 A

Philip J Fry

This sure feels like rock bottom
About all the sorrow and misery you could fit into a ******* person
without having their ******* skulls implode from sheer insignificance.
              I dont matter.
Draining out blood for more space,
more space for artificial sweeteners.
          The further I get,
             from myself ,
          the better off I'll be.

Jan 2015 A

"G"

Jan 2015 A

LonelyPoet

"G"

You keep telling yourself that it's ok,
that there's nothing wrong but you
sound like a whisper and they sound
like a shout.

Jan 2015 A

stay

Jan 2015 A

rantipole

stay

partying got old in a hurry.
it aged like milk that was bought
a few days before expiration.
and I'm lactose intolerant anyway,
why the **** am I drinking this?

I'm looking for something more mature,
that becomes ripe
with the passage of time,
like 50 year old scotch.
and I'm an alcoholic anyway,
why isn't there a bottle in my hand?

overwhelmed with the thought of you
drinking anything
with anyone else
while I sit here alone
and sip another cup of coffee,
with only the wind to keep me company.
and even he doesn't stay for long.

#love #lonely #coffee #drinking #wind #bottle #mature #alcoholic #scotch #partying

Jan 2015 A

cough syrup

Jan 2015 A

rantipole

cough syrup

the first spoonful
was the most bitter in taste
but least bitter in memory.
the second, however,
tasted like mother's rejection,
and the third
like father's absence.
I paused debating another.

gulp

another spoonful,
and another for even questioning myself.
I saw your face in the sixth.
with a knot in my chest,
I saw you turn and leave,
trampling my forlorn heart.

but the seventh spoonful
made me numb,
to all the pain of thoughts prior.
and with the eighth
I felt like I was free.
with the ninth spoonful,
I closed my eyes
and was.

written on codeine

#sad #lonely #weak #numb #medicine #codeine

Jan 2015 A

hollow

Jan 2015 A

rantipole

hollow

reeking of cigarettes
another shameful night.
"I don't even smoke"
I tell myself.
"everything's fine"
I tell myself.
yes I do,
and no it's not.

energy running low,
I shake off the rust
and pick bullet fragments
from my words.
these wounded lips
have said so much.
this wounded heart
now an empty coffin -
hollow

#words #sad #depression #lonely #heart #shame #smoke #wounds #coffin

Jan 2015 A

Morning Routine

Jan 2015 A

Ashley Nicole

Morning Routine

Peer into the compact mirror
And disguise the trails
Of dried tears
With beige powder.
Cover up the road map
Etched into your foundation.
Now, pull yourself together,
Drag your *** out the door.
And don't forget to fake a smile.
It's all about putting on a show
And suffering in silence.

God knows I'd rather do that
Than open my mouth.

#depression #**** #makeup

Jan 2015 A

Scar

Jan 2015 A

Jan Harak

Scar

Today I found
the scar
on my hip.
I mean you can't see it,
but you can feel it,
if you touch.
I just thought:
"I will never get away,
it will always be there"

Some "mistakes" stay with us for life.

#suicide #regret #past #mistake #selfharm #scar

Jan 2015 A

Four am

Jan 2015 A

Liz And Lilacs

Four am

Four AM
And five stitches later
I finally realized the
cold hard truth.
I never want
to see you again.
I can't keep showing
up at the hospital
when you've broken
me yet again.

Jan 2015 A

What I say vs. What I mean

Jan 2015 A

Lianna Walters

What I say vs. What I mean

“How are you doing?”
"I'm good, how are you?"
I'm not okay, I'm never okay, not that you actually care...
"You're so pretty!
"Thank you!"
No I'm not. I'm fat and ugly, everyone knows it.
"I love you."
"I love you, too"
Do you?
"I'll always be here for you. Just call me."
"Thank you, it's good to know I have someone."
Funny, I needed you when I was ready to **** myself, but it went straight to voicemail.
"Do you want anything?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
No thanks, I'm not trying to gain any more weight, Lord knows I don't need to.
"You should go to sleep."
"Alright, goodnight."
Sure, I'll go lay in bed and think about everything wrong with me until 3am, but I sure as hell am getting 0 sleep.
"I need you...."
"Okay, I'll stay for you."
You probably do. But when I need you it's another story.
"You're so quiet!"
"I'm tired."
I'm over-thinking.
"What's up with the sunglasses? It's not even sunny."
"You know I look cool!"
I've been crying and I don't want you to ask why.
"You'll get over this. You're strong."
"Thanks I needed that."
Hahahahahahaha! You're so freaking hilarious!
"Your poetry is so deep!"
"I usually write when I'm listening to sad music- it gets me in the mood."
**I write everything I'm feeling, you just never paid enough attention to know I was feeling that way.

Quotations= what other people say
Italic quotation marks= What I respond'
Bold= What I mean

#sad #depression #crying #hunger #payattention #youneverknow #whatimean #whatisay

Jan 2015 A

Is festering wound too dramatic?

Jan 2015 A

Lisa

Is festering wound too dramatic?

You are like a disease
Growing on my heart
Leaving shards of mirror
Reflecting my face in
Shattered despair
All I want is a cure
Some way to endure
I don't want to compare myself
To the mistakes you chose over me
I don't want to hate the broken human
With a haunting resemblance
Of who I used to be
I want to move on
But I can't quite figure out how
Because when a part
.....of you...
....still loves....
Who do you turn to
Who becomes the medicine
When your cure
Has become your disease