Night whispers your name in the dark
My soul bleeds sin, leaking grey pools,
The sharp blade of guilt pressed against me too tight
Carve me atom by atom, chipping away my molecules.
The missing pieces hurt most
You should know, you've taken them all
My hands tried to heal these gashes
The moment before I do I fall.
Not strong enough to stand without stumbling
Through skin I can see outlines of each bone
Breathing polluted air, lungs poisoned by your absence
Exhaling any positive thoughts I still own.
When I smile it is for the people I love
They hate seeing me dismayed
Day after day continue this routine
Attempt to keep up this charade.
Those around me don't seem to notice
I must have a great poker face
Hurt can only be read in my eyes
No trace of suffering observable in any other place.
Want a dramatic reaction?
Stop waiting for me to cave and show
Not sure what expression you were expecting
Each passing moment I'm suppressing tears that yearn to flow.
It was you who played games with our feelings
I loved you, but you loved the dope
Tried not to let it get to me, bring me down
Quickly found out my inability to cope.
I cut ties with every dream I could
Couldn't break chains you placed on my back
Afraid I've become too intertwined with your darkness
I thought our bond could withstand any attack.
Here I fall, feathers fraying fast,
Hoping to pull through before they snap
Say you will be honest with me
So why are your stories filled with holes and gaps?
Allow yourself to show your heart completely
Freedom to be who you are
There is peace discovered in accepting your flaws
Many times I have seen you move moments far.
Left behind to shrink and fade
Storm is raging through our hearts
Hurricane of sadness ruining our souls
A survivor I stand missing quite a few parts.
Here we are yet again but why?
What should I do? Stay or go?
Think it out for a little while
Choose too fast because I am feeling low.
I am forced to watch my plans depart
Floating away with drifting days
I worked to repair areas from which they fled
I'm simply lacking a way.
Watching plotlines of our story
Distance opening my gullible eyes
I can't edit the screenplay
It's already scripted with lies.
Not sure exactly how our story will end
This may not be mendable and I'm scared
Been drowning in your pain so very long
Cannot find the surface to come up for air.
I dont know what to do these days. How do I be happy? Why cant everything be the way it was before?