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1.2k · Feb 2021
B. pt4
alexandre Feb 2021
And if I’m being honest
Sometimes I still miss you
And I hate myself for it
Sometimes I wish that I could
Just forgive and forget
And things could all go back
To the way they were
You caused me so much pain
But you were also always there
You listened
You were kind
You cared
You always knew the right things
To say
You knew me
And accepted me and all my flaws
You were my light in the darkness
But I guess no light lasts forever
Even the sun takes a break at night time
1.1k · Jan 2021
lost
alexandre Jan 2021
Trapped
In a memory
Lost in
A maze
Every turn
Is a wrong one
Every step
Is backwards
Every decision
A mistake
No one around
Voices surround me
They say I’m
Not making
It out of here
Never ending
Pain
Breathing in
The present
Living in
The past
1.1k · Jan 2021
drowning
alexandre Jan 2021
He is like the ocean
But I never learned how to swim
Now I’m drowning
In a love
I cannot contain
You’re perfect. I just don’t know how to love
1.1k · Feb 17
Everyday
alexandre Feb 17
I loved you
In every way
I bet you never knew
I thought of you everyday
887 · Jun 17
Gray
alexandre Jun 17
Too black for white
Too white for black
We’re not colours of
A rainbow
Yet you still treat me as such

You made me a colour
So a colour I will be
I will make gray my home
And I’ll wear my depression as tattoos
886 · Jan 2021
Question
alexandre Jan 2021
“Aren’t you afraid of dying?” She asked

“A bit” I lied, knowing **** well deaths the one thing I’ve never feared.
çoise
615 · Feb 2021
can you hear me?
alexandre Feb 2021
Hey
Can you hear me?
I’m screaming
I need help
These demons
Are taking over
I’m no longer
In control
I want this pain
To end
I can’t handle it
Please
Can you hear me?
537 · Aug 3
Untitled
alexandre Aug 3
What if we rewrite our story
Take out the darkness and the pain
Then maybe we’ll both choose to stay
501 · Feb 5
I’d apologize
alexandre Feb 5
If you were to hurt me
I’d say sorry
I’d probably take you for afternoon tea
And I’d thank you for ever loving me
500 · Jan 2021
the question to ask
alexandre Jan 2021
They asked me if I’d take a bullet for you
The truth is, I would
But I’d also take a bullet for the sole purpose of knowing I’d no longer exist
If you really want to know how much
I love you
The question to ask is
Would I be willing to live for you?
Would I be willing to live in this dark world
With no escape from my own darkness
Simply because I love you more than I want to die
I would live for you. In fact, I am living for you
498 · Feb 3
Would you care
alexandre Feb 3
Would you care
If I took another pill
What about 109
What if I took them all at once?

Would you care
If another tear fell from my eyes
What if I cried so much
I drowned in my own tears?

Would you care
If I lost a few more pounds
What if I lost so much
I became pieces of dust floating in an empty room?

Would you care
If I finally took enough pills to end it all?

Would you care
If I finally cried so much my lungs stopped working?

Would you care
If I became so small, my organs seized to function? 

Tell me would you finally care? Why is it never enough for you? Why am I never enough
487 · Mar 23
Untitled
alexandre Mar 23
It’s so hard
To live only to please others
465 · Oct 12
Numb
alexandre Oct 12
“Tell me where it hurts”

The truth is it doesn’t
That’s the problem

It’s like the pain is so heavy
My heart has gone numb
458 · Jun 13
Untitled
alexandre Jun 13
What goes on
In your
Sick
Twisted
Vile
Little mind
What drives the crazy little man inside your head?
453 · Feb 1
Lovely lover
alexandre Feb 1
Lovely lover loving me
I believe we’re meant to be
448 · Jan 2021
unwanted
alexandre Jan 2021
Just a young teen girl
With an addiction
To wanting to be needed

Another day,
Another man
She hated the way she was treated

Maybe if she was prettier
Or smaller
She could have succeeded

He said he loved her
but just like the rest
It turns out he cheated

The pain stung
But she got over it
Just another memory deleted
447 · Feb 8
Untitled
alexandre Feb 8
I knows it’s selfish
But I really wanted you to look at me
The way you looked at her
421 · Jan 2021
Untitled
alexandre Jan 2021
I hate that
You never stay
But every time you return
It feels like the stars
Are finally aligned
384 · Jan 2021
our first time
alexandre Jan 2021
I keep thinking about our first time
Not yours, not mine
But ours
The way my heart
Sped up as I looked
Deep into your eyes
Your lips
Gently touching mine
The way your hands felt
Outlining every part
Of my body
Touching me
Physically and spiritually
My soul erupting
Into every colour
Of the rainbow
The way your voice
Sounded when you
Whispered in my ears
The warmth
Of our skin
Fitting together
Like the perfect puzzle
Finally solved
we’re just friends tho
384 · Jan 2021
I’m smiling today
alexandre Jan 2021
For I knew the angel heaven gained
Spread your wings little sister
You are no longer chained
You’re no longer in this world of sinister
I miss you but I’m happy you’re in a better place now. I’ll always love you
376 · Feb 11
Untitled
alexandre Feb 11
I don’t think I want to get better
Because better means the number on the scale will go up
Better means I’ll have to see myself like that again
alexandre Oct 2021
and you deserve the sunshine
the peace
the nights spent dancing in the rain
you deserve the comfort
the love
feeling safe in your own skin
you deserve all the best
that this world has to offer
331 · Jun 25
Untitled
alexandre Jun 25
Who am I
If I am not myself?
322 · Jul 29
All of you
alexandre Jul 29
And it took time for me to realize,
That I only live to please you
All of you
As long as you’re happy
318 · Apr 30
Untitled
alexandre Apr 30
Maybe if I think enough thoughts I’ll get lost in my mind
301 · May 16
Untitled
alexandre May 16
I love kissing you
I would vow to never kiss another person
If it meant I’d get one last kiss from you
284 · Aug 5
excerpt:
alexandre Aug 5
She says
My dear
It’s time to self destruct
Don’t you want to feel safe again?
268 · Feb 2021
angel
alexandre Feb 2021
Her wings are bruised
And she’s struggling to get off the ground
But she’s so **** strong
That she’ll fly
Straight through a storm
Even when her wings
Can barely work
She’ll use her hope to lift her off the ground
Her smile will light up the road ahead
She will never
Stop being the angel
She was always meant to be
Even if she has to learn how to fly
All over again
263 · Sep 8
Untitled
alexandre Sep 8
And as bad as my abandonment issues are
I have attachment issues even worse
I’ll love you for a thousand years
260 · Jan 22
Untitled
alexandre Jan 22
I wish to grow
To be 5 feet tall
I might not see the world
From above the clouds
But I will prove you wrong
I will be better
And I will succeed
255 · Sep 4
Untitled
alexandre Sep 4
I was ready to let it all go
But then I met him
255 · Aug 30
Dear poets
alexandre Aug 30
I’m so in love, my words fail to appear
249 · Feb 2021
I’m sorry
alexandre Feb 2021
I care about you
I do
I just don’t know
How I’m supposed to
Love you
The way you deserve
To be loved
When I only
Have half
A heart
alexandre Sep 7
I’ve got
100.
255.
560.
680.
870.
2050.
Will it work?
Will it work?
Will it finally work?
234 · Jun 2
Reminiscing you
alexandre Jun 2
We were bad for each other
In a perfect kind of way
233 · Jun 22
Untitled
alexandre Jun 22
It’s like I feel everything and nothing all at the same time
227 · Mar 30
Intoxicating
alexandre Mar 30
Words of liquor
Drunk sentences strung together by
Bitter sweet
Sun kissed
Love

You’re love is intoxicating

Pour me a glass
205 · Sep 2021
Untitled
alexandre Sep 2021
And I don’t want to be pretty
I don’t want to be yours
I just want you to hold me for tonight

Let’s be lonely together<3
alexandre Oct 3
I am drowning trying to help you stay a float
But you’d rather look at the hands that aren’t there to pull you out of the storm
202 · Aug 6
Untitled
alexandre Aug 6
Roses of red  
Slow breaths
Deep desire
The power of lust
Oceans on fire
191 · Feb 22
I miss you
alexandre Feb 22
I miss you

I could talk about the sound of your soft voice

Or the waterfall blue of your eyes

Or your kiss on my lips

But I don’t want to

I just want you to know

I miss you

All of you
190 · Sep 2021
Untitled
alexandre Sep 2021
I love you
More than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything
I loved you
And today I stood outside my mind
And I admitted it
I admitted this was real
I love you still but I know that I’d just give you my darkness and you’d be stuck in this life feeling how I feel
I love you too much
188 · Jun 27
Untitled
alexandre Jun 27
I know my lungs so badly need it
But I don’t want to breathe anymore
188 · Jun 5
Untitled
alexandre Jun 5
I wish
I could disappear
All these wasted years
Wasted days
Pointless
187 · Apr 20
Untitled
alexandre Apr 20
Teach me to love the love me the way you do
183 · Oct 2021
Waiting
alexandre Oct 2021
I’m just waiting for that moment when you get tired of me
When all you can see are the broken parts of me that you’ll never be able to fix

I’m waiting for the day you realize that I’m not what you wanted
When you understand that my broken pieces can’t be mended

I’m waiting for when you see me how I see myself
And leave
183 · Jul 30
dear writer:
alexandre Jul 30
teach me to write like you do
teach me to listen to the melody of my imagination
and put on paper
what I could never say out loud
179 · Feb 19
Untitled
alexandre Feb 19
Liar liar
Why do you do it?
Liar hey liar
You make me feel like ****
178 · Jun 26
Untitled
alexandre Jun 26
Long gone
Are the days where I played in the dirt
Now,
I just wish I was 6 under it
A casket of unfinished stories
168 · May 11
F U Ed
alexandre May 11
Yesterday Ed told me that I should restrict all of today. Today she told me the same thing. I almost listened. But I didn’t. I said F you Ed and I ate 2 meals.
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