“I am tired,”
I say

You ask if I was up late
Last night

And instead of telling you about
My hypocretin levels I nod
And laugh and say
“Something like that.”

“What, are you tired?”
My coach asks

He thinks he is
Trying to motivate me
But he does not know
That my very existence is
Bone crushingly exhausting
And yes,
I am tired
But I wouldn’t expect him
To understand
So I say nothing

When I say I have narcolepsy
And you say
“Must be nice, being able
To fall asleep anywhere,”
I have never related
To Ted Bundy more in
My entire life

You suggest I stop
Drinking coffee

I suggest you stop breathing

Teachers talk about the
Impact of sleep on
Mental health and
I think
Maybe that’s why
I’m always depressed

My doctor suggests I stop
Drinking coffee too
I am a little worried now

I google
“Caffeine related heart attacks
In teens”

My findings are not enough to
Convince me and besides,
A hospital visit
Is just an opportune moment
For a nap

Oh, you sorry fool
You've cut your fingers
Plucking on heartstrings again.
When will you learn?
Souls like his
Were not meant for
Souls like yours.
He will live his whole entire life
And not once
Think twice about the color of your eyes.

My brain is a graveyard
Where cobwebs collect
Through gyri and sulci
The harvestmen tread

The widows float down
Painted black and red
Armed with venom
And needle and thread

They sing as they spin
A chanty of doubt
Stuffing my skull
Til ghosts leak out

And when they have
All had their say
And my spine grows centipede legs
And crawls away

I sink sink sink
Into the ground
And even the arachnids
Cannot draw me out.

I'm not sure to my abilities
Don't even think have ones
I
  feel
         useless.
I cry and sleep in the darkness
At least the sun will sparkles.

In the past
My muse has been
Some external
Inspiration

But as of now
My muse has made
An internal
Relocation

It's always come
In bursts and spurts
Bit here, bit there
Drought then flood

But finally
The other day
It pierced my heart
Merged into blood

It's part of me
It's head and heart
Crafting wonder
From life's disarray

This muse won't leave
Won't sputter, stumble
It's deep within
It's here to stay

Are you ready
Your last could
Be t
O
M
    M
O
R
O
  W---------------- are you sure
Have you released angers and
S
  O
R
R
O
W
S-  are you ready
For death heaven or hell?
Or the not so deep sleep-
We make decisions NOW!
Your choice and fate is in
Your hand's destinations keep-
Don't be fooled, make the
Right decision,
Clear your\view-open your eyes
Don't be deceived by world vision.
Imprisoned?
Choose now
Dios or diablos-------tommorrow might not just come
As you'd expect. Check yourself \ on
F
A
C
T
S\ reflect/

Everybody, including me
Wanted the Wendy they had before
She does not exist anymore
I am not sure when she disappeared
Was it when she got T- *****
Or when her brain was sheared
Either time
---Either way
She is a different creature these days
It is hard to put in the past
Every July reminds me of the change
in my life that will forever last
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
To my change of personality
Drastic changes every seven years
who knows 2025
May be
The year I truly come alive!

July 14, 2004- T-*****
July 21, 2011- Temporal Lobe surgery 2018- diagnosed MCI memory loss
2025-----------
~~~~~••••~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~••••~~~~~
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
JOSHUA 1-9