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Deenah May 2015
I scribbled some words on the back of my hand,
Reminders to smile for today.
Even if the world chose to engulf my happiness
The ink of my blood it could not erase.

So bent on trying to sort out my life,
Calm the tide of emotions within.
Leaving the small flame that was burning still,
Not knowing it was fading.

Too often I've slipped,
And grazed my heart.
Too often I've exposed my myself,
Now it's time to reclaim my soul...
It's time I played my part.
Deenah Jan 2015
I opened up my eyes to the morning
Sunshine, as it blazed through the
Window panes. Basking in a moments surprise.
As though suddenly, the world had changed.
Darkness filtered with the sunlight's rays.
Everything glittered in the sparkling terrain-
like fairy dust had been sprinkled when at night
we lay. But as movement prevailed my body
the glint in the shine did fade.
As though all along I had been staring
At a facade. Untruth in the form of truth was it
Masked. Likewise the hatred could fool the eye
With smiles of laughter and packs of lies.
So was this life? Every morning was a lie to the night,
Hiding in the darkness, hoping to survive?
Or was it just me? Maybe my mind? Running in
Overdrive of hurt and confusion- longing for the past in which,
In which my soul was my solution.
Ever wondered what kind of world we live in? And our greater purpose of existence?
Deenah Feb 2015
I'm floating in this vast bed
Of deep blue sea
And yet I can't swim.

I'm hanging from the this tall canopy
Of green and golden leaves
And yet I can't fly.

I'm buried in this narrow hole
Of dark brown soil
And yet I can't move.

I'm soaring in this open plain
Of weightless white air
And yet I don't know where I'm going.
It's all too much.
Deenah Jan 2015
The way you rapped me around your little finger
Twisted and twisted till I could untie myself no more.
Rocking and rolling my poor heart, letting it linger
Leaving it left so sore.
Yet this passion clutched me, hung from my every limb.
I would not leave you. As I knew you would not me.
The country moves of yours swaying, humming hymns
Every move so elegant, so classical, so free.
I could not grasp the way you did it,
Moved me from my deep burrowed Blues.
My hero in every form, like a candle lit
In a darkened, dusky room.
You will be my song, my tune, my being.
For you and I will breathe as one breathing.
First Sonnet
Deenah Feb 2015
She looked at me and laughed,
"It's not real dear, you can't have a broken heart."
Her smile I did return,
"I can prove to you, it can"

Tell me if you've ever felt something
That goes beyond this world,
A companionship so intense,
That makes your insides whirl?

I can't expect you to understand,
If you've never felt it so.
Can't explain a broken heart
To the one who still owns his own.

How could I ever explain,
The way that we convey ourselves,
When through poetry we display
The dustiest parts of our souls?

How could you comprehend,
When you've never felt the way
That if feels to have her eyelashes
Brush like butterflies, caught like prey?

How can you understand,
The deepest feeling you could face
When you've never placed your hand
And felt a heartbeat quickening it's pace?

You see, I said,
It may only ever be
An *****, biologically.
But there is something which makes us human,
And that is your heart, and that can be broken.
I'm not broken-hearted... But distance is enough to **** me.
Deenah Jan 2015
Drugged by its techniques
Swooned into its emotion.
To its addiction we lay prey.
Call me crazy, it acts as a compliment.
Neighbours of the Mad Hatter we stay.

Awakened by a sudden Volta.
A little hangover,
Short on sleep.
Darkness collapses as I weep.

Because what isn't said
is shed in tears.
Shift in tone as I speak.
Reflection in the mirror only reveals
the levels of weakness I try to conceal.

A necessity it is to see the glass half filled.
Now it seems to me that half the glass spilled
out words I swallowed with complication.
In the presence of pure motivation
when I was Sober..
All I want is to start over.
Collab. With Aisha
Check her poems out here - http://hellopoetry.com/Aishaammz/
Deenah Jan 2015
How very rare is it, that one should find friendship,
And together they find poetry-
Rather than merely finding poetry,
And as such finding friendship?
Special people live in hearts, not just minds.
Deenah Jan 2016
You said face your fears,
So I watched as you posted pictures of you and her, day in day out

You said face your fears,
So I watched as you commented hearts next to each other's names

You said face your fears,
So I watched as you called her the nicknames you once called me

You said face your fears,
So I watched as the memory of me began to fade from your eyes

You said face your fears,
And now there is nothing left of me,
*But It.
I haven't had much inspiration in a while, but today this came to me- and I thought I'd like to share it. Please let me know how it was :)
Deenah Feb 2015
I promised not to write another word,
Not for another week.
But you push me...
Like those odd buttons.

Last night I fell to boredom,
And decided to paint my hands with henna.
Was your art, which is why it reminded me so fondly of you,
My uneven lines, jagged, and poor attempts to copy,
How neat it would've been if you were here doing it
For me.

And maybe I painted too early,
Or maybe I read you confessions too late-
But the pain was paramount.
A flood of tears that had ****** the water
From my dry mouth.

And now these painted hands,
That so fondly reminded me of you,
Became a constant reminder of your trial,
The unnecessary separation,
That aching inside.

And even if I tried,
I couldn't peel it away
Or pull it apart,
Because, what had inked my hands
*Had now inked my heart.
I see you everywhere I turn, and yet you're nowhere to be seen.
Deenah Jan 2015
Bound by society,
Trying to free her wings
Balancing truth with conformities
Leaving her hung like a child on a swing.

Torn by expectations,
Each piece a clue to her mind
Ragged in clothes not hers, but theirs
Bearing with them, of her, no sign.

Leaving it, she'd attempted,
'Integrate', they said
'Lose yourself, to join us'
They could've said instead.
A voice for every woman out their who chooses to be her own self in a world choosing who she should be.
Deenah Feb 2015
It'd be a lie to say I don't care,
When I do.
I do.

It'd be a lie to say it doesn't hurt,
When it does.
I do.

It'd be a lie to pretend I am not looking,
When I am.
I do.

It'd be a lie to pretend I don't love you,
When I do.
I do.

And I know you know it.
But still we live to please others,
To protect ourselves.
And we still stand strong-
Whilst we wish to exist without them,
We can't. Because part of me and you lies with everyone we've met.
That makes us who we are.
And I love every bit of you for it.
*I do.
Deenah Feb 2015
I love it when we sit hours on end
In silence, as though our presence is enough
To satiate our hunger for each other's company.

I love it when we can't call one song, 'our song'
Because we find albums together
Until we get bored and look for another.

I love it when we both come online,
Doing our work, but checking we're both there every now and then
Before saying goodnight.

I love how we finish each other's sentences,
Before we've even thought it,
Like our minds, our souls and our bodies are all one.

I love it how you're the inspiration for my writing,
For my dreams and my future,
How my poetry follows yours and vice versa.

I love it when you call me your distraction,
Because there's nothing more special than knowing,
That someone can't focus on something, because
They're too focused on you. ❤️
Deenah Jan 2015
Be my fuel, my source of comfort,
But don't hurt me.
Be my light,
But don't leave me in the dark.
Be my battery,
But don't die on me.
Be my warmth,
But don't suffocate me.
Be my veins, but don't burst.
Be my ink, but don't blot.
Be my music, but don't end.

*Be my heart, and please, don't break.
Its not me I'm worried about, it's you. Don't bleed again, please.
Deenah Mar 2015
None of me makes sense anymore,

Now that you're gone.

I'm now just the wrong piece of the puzzle.
Deenah Jan 2015
Set fire to my heart,
So my mind can see clearly.

Its ashes be so sparse,
That my judgement isn't cloudy.

Don't let embers fly off like fireflies,
Lest they spark my mind wrongly.

And lastly, please bury its ashes far away,
As its loss, too painful a memory.
Sometimes you're unsure of why you're even hurting. But you are. And most the times, it remains a battle between the heart and the mind. One overridden with logic. The other with emotion.
Deenah Mar 2016
And I love and love again,
Telling myself each time will be better.

The truth being,
I'm only scared,that I'll lose the ability
To love altogether.
Mum
Deenah Feb 2015
Mum
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"
Or so they seem to say.
I'm not sure I trust that judgement,
As its pain that grows each day.

Your presence is enough to heal,
To calm and to subdue,
And while we never realised,
We owed this peace to you.

And now your gone for just a few days,
It's all too much to think,
That this is what you've been doing each day,
Without a single blink.

For us to think of you in pain,
We'd wish to take away.
Thinking of your labour pains,
Taking this would never repay.

And all this stress, and all this worry
All of it combined,
Would be nothing compared to your sacrifice,
Because even taking your pain on ourselves now,
Would not come close to the way you gave us life.

*Mum.
Deenah Jan 2015
You've made a mockery of our beliefs,
And our prophet you defame.
I think and think and think,
From this, what is your gain?

We stand for peace and mercy,
We always have and will.
The actions of some may scar us,
While they remain sinful.

I will condemn their actions,
As every human should.
But apologies I will not,
For its not under Islam's hood.

I can't claim responsibility,
For something I've not done.
Neither can I say sorry,
For its not part of my religion.

Anyone can say 'Allah',
And do atrocities in His name.
But what of those 1.6 billion Muslims,
Who His name they rightly claim?

I have only one request,
That I'd kindly wish you do,
Look beyond the hate and hurt,
And see Muslims are just like you.
Peaceful. Loving. Caring.
We have families too.
Islam is a religion of peace,
Peace be on to you.
The world needs to know, we stand for peace alongside it. We are one with you on this, as we are one with you on every life that is taken in cold blood.
Deenah Oct 2018
22 years ago you filled the heart of a woman with joy, as she held you in her arms.
Having given birth after holding you for 9 months,
You were her light.

21 years later you filled the heart of another woman with joy.
As you promised to be hers and she yours. The woman of your dreams and you, the man of hers.

Yet by 22, both your two beating hearts were broken.
Still fully intact in its living state,
Yet broken beyond comprehension in love.

Your hearts still beat as one,
Despite the hundreds of miles in between you.

Despite the darkness that now envelopes your night, and the fear that perpetuates her day.

Despite the promises, the memories, the excitement, the love lies still bleeding.

Forgive me, for every word I could not make real. For every promise I could not keep. For every moment that still pains your beautiful soul.

Had I another to give to you, I would. Had I not lost every ounce of me in my fight to reach you, I’d have given you all that was left of me.

But now I am just words. Words, most probably never read by, for the true intended. Just words scrawled from emotions that no longer know how to formulate. Words that speak volumes and silence at the same time.

Happy Birthday, my birthday boy.
May every ounce of happiness this world possesses be granted to you, in the long and blissful life that you have ahead of yourself. Happy birthday x
Perhaps the last poem ever on here. Goodbye.
Deenah Mar 2015
Breathe in the scent,
That lingers from your clothes.
The way that your mouth curves into a smile
Like you've just grinned at a ghost.

It's crazy where you drive me,
Up walls and beneath your feet.
I sometimes think I've left my senses
Somewhere in my sleep.

It mostly makes no sense what I say
Anyway. Especially on these kinds of days.
Haze between sad and happy,
A contentment in many ways.

But little can be certain
And of that I am sure,
Because the only truth I know I possess,
Is that we're both like two sides of a single coin.
Deenah Feb 2015
It's that vast land that I want,
          That open plain of sea
The step into the wilderness,
          Where it's just you and me

I wished it long ago
           Like a child in a dream,
I'd be lying if I pretended
           I still don't see it in my sleep.

I can't understand sometimes,
           like I'm blindfolded in the dark
and even though you're stood there
           we're almost miles apart.

I never lied when I said my heart was open
           exposed only for you,
it might be easier to forget and leave
           but I'd choose to hurt for eternity,
           because it's always you I'd choose.
As they say... poetry can't be written, if there's 'nothing poetic about my state'
Deenah Mar 2015
If I could, I would take out my heart,
And replace it with yours.

Because I'd rather feel your pain,
Then witness you feel it.
Your pain is my pain.
Deenah Mar 2015
And as I mixed the colours,
Blending each of their hues,
I realised that not a single shade,
Could paint the mind belonging to you.
Deenah Feb 2015
It's like I said up there,
There's no need for Valentines.

Your *love
, a robe, encrusted in jewels and diamonds,
That I wear with pride.
Your heart, that single rose, so crimson like my love,
I've kept inside.
Your mind, my companion, as travellers across this road of life,
Together.
And my thoughts only for you.

*It's like I said up there,
There's no need for Valentines.
Deenah Jan 2015
You are my rhyming couplet,
Or maybe more sometimes,
Something a little deeper,
Like that small internal rhyme.

You are my iambic meter,
Di dum, di dum, di dum,
Our stanzas are identical,
Our rhythms in unison.
Something I'm sure she'll understand ♥
Deenah Jan 2015
My heart,
My biggest vulnerability.
But for you,
I’m exposed.
Deenah Feb 2018
When my heart was yours,
And I was everything for you...

Then in your absence,
Who am I now?
Deenah Apr 2015
You changed. Slowly.
So slowly maybe, I'm not sure you even saw the difference.
But I did.
And I couldn't speak to hurt you- but I couldn't keep it in.
My soul battled itself.
And there is no victory for one who fights themselves,
*For when one part dies, so does the other.
I'm so confused at the moment. I'm sorry if this isn't much of a poem... But I had to share.

— The End —