Trust
Is the
First
To rust
Before
It all
C   o   l   l   a   p   s    e    s

You broke your little girl.

You dropped her head
in a boiling ***
and the pressure
broke her skull.

Fished her out
and set her
in the sun to
dry and dry and dry.

Your neglectful hands
left her there to turn
the color of things
trapped between train tracks.

And now she exists.
You can hear her
but you don’t understand
what she’s screaming.

written March 31, 2015

"Have you ever cried every day for two weeks straight?
I have
And although the tears were sporadic
My breaths were heavy and I had outbursts
These tears i'm experiencing, two weeks later
are hurting much much more
I'm not biting my tongue to hide my sobs
or crying into the pillow, late at night
Rather feelings the burn as each tear slowly runs down my cheeks
Every tear falls with a memory of you
and my heart is heavy tonight
I feel as if I'm suffocating
Because my heart and my head are in a rebuttal
Wishing two things upon myself
and I don't know where to go
I just want to stay still and do nothing for the rest of eternity
Who knew decisions could be this ******* someone
And why is it that the one who hurts you and treats you poorly
is the one you set your sights on
and want the most"

I made holes
Inside myself
Bigger than the holes
That you created
Inside me

I am the disappeared
my name spoken no more
by the tongues of zealous lovers.
I will not weep as my eyes look upon my banished heart
nor will I revel in it's decay
I will only mourn that time in it's passing is not as brief as your passion for my smile.

Thirty six days
and nary a trace
of evidence indicating
she will ever go away.