i give so much
of my love to the world
that there isn't quite
enough left
for myself.

you were never a universe
you didn't hold planets or galaxies
or stars within you.
instead, you were full of passion and wonder.
instead, you had warm hands and a smile that made my heart race.
instead, you were simply you.

one shot won't
fill it but maybe five or six
one pill won't do it
but maybe eight or nine
one night didn't fix it
but maybe twelve

the space is growing bigger
with each person that leaves
perhaps i'll double the dose
to double my chance
at being w h o l e
again

six shots didn't work
so maybe ten or twelve
nine pills didn't do it
so maybe sixteen or seventeen
twelve nights didn't fix it
so maybe thirty

if our love is a ship
then we are two lovers
lost at sea
bound to sink
in our own demise

the words
i love you
become trapped behind
my teeth,
it's a phrase so heavy
like the words
i miss you
and sometimes
in the break
before you speak,
i wonder if you're fighting
to get the same words out
as i am

it's become a swallowed
confession,
of an obvious truth
rather than a secret
because it seems so
clear that my world
levels with yours
but i can't explain how
touching your skin
feels like you are the
key because
i was a locked door
until i met
you