Toluene*

If I decide to unpack all
my belongings in your arms,
would you let me stay?
Would you still be as mesmeric
as you were when you believed
people were temporary?
Would you let me live
inside your skin?
Because I can't tell where
rapture ends and abstinence begins.

Toluene

I envy the four walls
that have the privilege
of watching you fall asleep,
I want to place your scars
in an envelope and send
them out to a healing land
only if you let me
and if you'll hold my hand.

Bite, swallow me whole,
call me *******
but I want to feel, feel, *feel
every fibre and molecule
that gives a definition to your name,
I want to plant the stars in your eyes
so then I'd stargaze forever,
I want you to rip me apart
and erode the tear stains from my heart.

Toluene*

He is a truly sublime being,
his "I love you's" like
sticky notes, stickers,
every embrace leaves
an imprint on my arms,
every kiss clings to my tongue
until I taste him again,
His love, an adhesive,
a sudden wallop of rapture
flowing through each
cremation chamber,
making my heart hum hum hum
a little faster faster faster
love knows no punctuation

- Crimsyy

Nicotine*

I write this under a reading light,
my hand a shadow,
moving along the page.
I write this because you
told me I could share,
and because I've never really
shared the words that make
my hands tingle.

I write this because
you are my Toluene -
you stir my mind matter
in ways no one else does.
You make me panic,
then relieved, then okay,
then glad to be yours,
and then...

You turn into my nicotine;
The coldness of my body
not pressed against yours
seeps through my skin,
and the withdrawal symptoms begin.

Toluene

You slip away from me
just as I'm about to reach,
time escapes us
like a clover
missing its fourth leaf,
stuck in the jungle
of my thoughts,
I can still find you but
I feel like you're the closest star,
visible, but too **** far.

And where's my luck
when the wrong date
on the calendar turns out right?
I haven't seen you
in a fortnight
and now I'm starting to feel
the absence bite.

I'm falling apart
because I can't remember
your lips or
how it feels to
drown in your kiss.
You're a nuance in
my memory:
I always remember a lot more
when it comes to you.

But this time,
I've forgotten the
sublime ways you
made me happy,
And I'm reminded
in each aching moment,
of how the breath in
my lungs constricts when
you're not near;
I miss you dear.



*Hey everyone...a little sad poem but that's because I felt that way. Please comment your thoughts / constructive opinions on this poem. Thankyou for reading! ^.^

Toluene

I've buried origins in foreign soil,
I've buried me in all my turmoil,
but you are the shovel
digging deeper into me,
and I don't mind.
I don't mind feeling the love,
but I mind the sick -
the sick feels like all
the reasons to die.

When absence
becomes a metronome,
I know we've been too far apart,
even hearts cannot force
a beat to leap when
souls grow cold and
hands become ashtrays
in the dark.

And though this world may decay,
my love for you will never fade;
darling you make me feel
as if I'm coming home,
darling, you're dripping
all the colours of the rainbow
all over my heart's monochrome.



*A/N: Utter  nonsense...but anyways here's a new poem. Have been very busy with school - a week full of assessments one after the other.
Please comment your thoughts on this poem (: Thankyou for reading! ♡♡

Three nitres, two screams and my toluene dreams  are dynamiting the start, in the heart of the heat
the architecture beats me and as I can't see her she meets me head on,then she's gone
and the buildings all crumble as the tri-nitro rumbles and I stumble back into the night.
Tomorrow's alright but it won't fix today and today flakes away in my hands,the hands that once held her, now hold only fresh air and there's nothing where she used to be,but me and corrosive,boom bang explosive with a fuse to abuse and there's nothing to choose but the easy way out.

Toluene*

My soul still suffers from palpitations
when it hears your name,
those overused butterflies are nothing
compared to the drunkenness swimming in my brain.

Just your arms and your chest
feel like my safety zone,
shutting the world out,
I've no need to roam.

I hate how unbearable it is to leave,
how absence clings,
I love you but I do wish
missing you wouldn't
make my eyes sting.

Afraid of the dark
   amazed by the light
Behind the face of a
   broken boy
Concealing his emotions
   carrying the weight of his guilt
Deepening your intellect with
   details of his inner thoughts
Extending the night into day
   effortlessly with a sinister grin
Foreshadowing the
   future without hope or
Gratification he cannot
   greet you with
Happiness for he is
   helplessly
In search of new insight
   in order to bring a more
Jubilant vibe to life and provide
   joy for others to possibly
Kindle the repressed joy within him
   knowing there is rebuttal
Looking him dead in the eye
   livid from betrayal he
Meets a new friend
   mastered in the art of revenge
Never looking back he
   nearly kills himself looking for an
Oasis
   oblivious to the realization that this
Pal is inside his head rather than
   presenting itself before him he is in a
Quandary trying to
   quantify his emotions
Rather than understanding what has been
   released inside of him
Soon enough he has an idea to
   saturate his body in
Toluene in hopes
   to escape the
Underworld that is about to engulf him
   ultimately he must
Vacate this so called sanctuary to find
   value within himself
Wading knee-deep in
   water trying to determine is he a
Xenophile or is he a
   xenophobe the boy
Yearns for an answer
   yell at him so he feels something
Zany he may be as his three digit
   zip code is six-six-six